The Allton-Nee Three

Long overdue update...

2012-02-04T05:23:00.000-08:00

Well we haven't blogged for an outrageously long time, one week seems to so quickly turn into the next that the last few months have almost been a total blur! I'm going to drop in a random selection of photos as we blog....

Our biggest news is that we have decided to move back to Hong Kong, around the end of this month. Jobs and opportunity mean that as lovely as life might be in Venice, our plans of more children, buying a house, saving for college/rainy days/holidays etc are better facilitated by living and working in Asia and benefitting from the opportunity that this brings.

In the mean time, we have to deal with all the hassle of shipping, flights, finding an apartment, packing, visas, red tape, dogs etc etc, but we're both really excited by our decision so it shouldn't feel like too much of a chore!

We also have a lot more friends in Hong Kong so it will be great to visit people and have visitors, and also a few of our friends also have young children, so hopefully we can give Beau more interaction with other babies that in Venice is sadly lacking.

Just recently, we have seen lots of family, and for some it was their first time meeting Beau. We took him to the UK for Christmas, Amsterdam recently for a weekend away with some of Adam's family, and my parents have just returned home after spending 5 days with us in Venice. Everyone is totally in love with Beau, and as quiet and to some degree, private as our life in Italy is, Beau seems to absolutely love all the attention that meeting so many people brings!

It's scary to think just how quickly Beau grows and develops, he barely sleeps in the daytime, just the occasional 20 min power nap seems to get him through the day, but on the plus side he sleeps 7.30pm to 6.30am pretty much straight through, with just the occasional cry or whimper in the night. He is so curious with everything, and is absolutely loving his new-found independence provided by his baby walker. Nothing makes him happier than doing laps of the sofa or picking up some serious speed under the dining table! Quite the dare-devil!!!!!

Huge apologies to everyone for being away from Blogworld for quite some time, it's also now that we take our hats off to those with multiples, the impact of having one baby is huge, so the impacts of 2, 3, 4.... seriously, knighthoods and medals for services to parenthood are totally called for!

I wouldn't have believed when anyone told me that the 'bit where you have a tiny baby' is so short, gone in a flash, but it's totally true! But what we do have is an absolutely gorgeous 'little man' full of love, happiness, smiles, and a ray of sunshine in our lives far brighter than anyone can imagine.

Apologies for being terribly lazy bloggers!!!!!

2011-11-27T14:24:00.000-08:00

Beau is 19 weeks old today, and boy are we reminded how quickly he is growing and changing when we are sent photo's like this one below... this was taken by a lovely British family who were staying in the same accommodation as us in Delhi. It's was Adam's 30th birthday and the hotel owner put on a lovely evening dinner party. Beau was only 6 days old. They kindly emailed us the photo last week, it is actually one of the very few of the three of us together with Beau pretty much new born and extremely precious to us.

We took him to see his new pediatrician last week and Beau weighed in at a whopping 7kg, or about 15.5 pounds. The Doctor was helping me try to clarify what vaccinations he has had and what he needs to have. Given that we were in Delhi for about 3 months, Beau made a lot of visits to the pediatrician for vaccinations, and the Italian doctor was both surprised and impressed with how thorough the Indian vaccinations were. he was given a lot more injections in India than he would have been given in Italy (of course given the difference in conditions) but the Doctor was of the thinking that the more the better, and the injections he has been given can only strengthen his immune system even if they wouldn't have been given in Italy. Next injections are not now due until he is 12 months old, but he will of course keep regular check-ups.

Beau is coping remarkably well with the change in weather here, after 3 months outside the womb in Delhi and 9 months in, he's now having to deal with the harsh realities of a European winter, but doing it is a remarkably fashionable way! Although he absolutely hates wearing his big chunky puffer jacket, far too restrictive for him!!!! He would much rather be home half-naked with the central heating on full blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everywhere is Venice is starting to get a little more festive and 'Christmassy', although it makes a nice change from the UK where Christmas goods hit the shops the moment the last of the summer BBQ coals go on sale!!! We are excitedly anticipating the switch-on of the Christmas street lights and introduce Beau to a little festive cheer! We are planning Christmas day in Venice but will be traveling to the UK on 26th December where Beau will get to meet many new family and friends (8 aunties, 7 uncles, 16 cousins, a billion members of extended family, great aunts, great uncles, our old school friends.......) so this will no doubt be a fabulous and exhausting trip to our home land. It seems odd that Beau is British with a British passport and has yet to step foot on UK soil.. but he seems to be having a lovely time with our European neighbors. Venetians are a reserved and aloof breed, but they do melt when they see a baby and shower them with lovely attention, and Beau gets more than his fair share.

But although we can't believe how quickly our beautiful baby boy is growing up, we also can't believe that this is what he looked like on the 30th November 2010:

14 Weeks Old and HOME!!!!!!!

2011-10-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

Beau is 14 weeks old on Sunday, and we finally made it home after 12 weeks! The last 2 weeks at home have been amazing. As we haven't blogged for ages, I've uploaded a random selection of photo's from the last couple of weeks.

After 10-11 weeks, I received an email to say that Beau's passport had been printed in the UK and was finally on its way to Delhi. By 12 weeks it still hadn't arrived, when I got a call to say please come to the British High Commission. When I arrived, I was told that the passport had be found, in PAKISTAN!!!!!! They sent it from the UK to the wrong country!!!! I could do nothing but laugh at how ridiculous the situation was. Because the diplomatic postal service all has to go via London, I was told it would take at least 2 weeks to get the passport redirected to Delhi, so they issued beau an emergency travel document on the Tuesday. Adam had left the week before to set up the new flat in Venice, so it was so exciting to know that we were a matter of days away from being together as a family again.

I used the Wednesday to prepare all my paperwork for the MHA/FRRO exit visa, visited the MHA Thursday and the FRRO Friday. The senior gentleman on the 'In Charge' desk in the FRRO looked at all the paperwork and said they was happy all my documents were in order and they would not be doing an investigation (which was clearly a relief as this can be another 10 days), but as far as I understand, some senior director at the MHA now has to sign all exit visas involving surrogacy (not the guy at the In Charge desk as before). However, he was out for the day, and 'might' be back at 4pm. Given that this was a Friday, I had a flight booked for that evening, it was a real worry that he wouldn't come back to work at that time on a Friday and I would have to wait until Monday, but PRAISE BE, he decided to come back to his office, sign the exit visa and we was all ready to do our last minute packing and head home!!!!!

On reflection, it wasn't quite so bad as it felt at the time, but between getting the exit visa and sitting on the plane, it felt like the scene in the Truman Show where Jim Carey was trying to leave town and everyone around him was trying to stop him! On check-out, my credit card wouldn't work, and I spent ages arranging my sister to pay the bill from the UK. When all was in order, they suddenly decided to add about US$50 worth of minibar charges to the bill that had already been paid. This took about an hour and plenty of shouting to resolve. When I got to the airport, I was told that there was a problem with Beau's ticket and Imight have to buy a new one (another hour at the ticket desk arguing, eventually resulting in Swiss Air realizing the ticket was actually fine.) By that time the bassinet seats had been taken.

The queue for immigration was now huge, and although I was dreading the passport inspection, it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. The guy behind the desk obviously asked where the mother was, to which I replied that my son was born through a surrogacy arrangement. He asked if I had any court orders, which I explained that court papers were not necessary. I gave him the signed 'No Objection' document from the SM, and he went off to check this with a senior customs/immigration official who I noticed gave it a quick skim read and said everything was ok. I am presuming that every immigration inspector at the desk might not quite understand surrogacy, but clearly their managers do, so even if they do go off to make some inquiries, it's not such a big deal, they are only doing their jobs and the reality of the situation will soon become clear...

My final 'just laugh' situation was when it was time to board the plane, a member of Swiss Air staff offered to help carry my many cabin baggage items to the plane. On the way, she asked where the mother was and I kindly advised her that I have been asked that question every 10 minutes for the last 12 weeks, so hopefully she won't be offended if I really can't be bothered to explain. She then offered to 'tell all cabin staff that we have a passenger on board traveling without a child's mother, so female staff might need to help feed and change the baby.' I declined her offer, and she looked very worried, asking me 'But what if he cries, what if he needs feeding, what if he needs a nappy changing?' She was extremely surprised to hear me say that I could actually manage all of those situations and will manage just fine. As frustrating as I find this presumption, I can only put it down to cultural difference and she was actually trying to be as helpful as possible.

But we were by now finally on the plane, I wouldn't have cared if we had to stand the whole way home! Beau was amazing on the flight, he cried once for about 30 seconds, but as it was an 8 hour flight leaving at 01:15AM, he sept for nearly all of it, waking to feed then go straight back to sleep. We had a quick 1.5 hour layover in Zurich, then a short 1 hour flight to Venice. Adam met e at the airport which was fantastic, and a 30 minute boat ride and we were home!!!!!!

Living in Venice is not the easiest place to have a baby, such as taking the pushchair out in a city with 409 bridges, but definitely has it's benefits with children as it's completely car fee, extremely safe, and the air is very fresh and clean. Venetians make me smile as the don't like to make a big deal about things, and its very impressive to see a mother with 3 or 4 kids and a pushchair laden with 4 or 5 bag of shopping on the back of her babies' stroller single handedly crossing an extremely steep bridge with small steps on the 'school run' declining all help from passers by. It's just the way it is here, you just deal with it without complaining, and it's just a small price to pay to live somewhere so beautiful. We have been using the Baby Bjorn carrier far more than the stroller, but we have been out for 'bridge crossing practice' on the realization that he's getting heavy and we're going to have to use the pushchair far more fairly soon. He's so happy here, he just loves being outside taking in all the crowds and scenery, and he revels in all the attention people give him as Venice is very much a baby-loving city.

Huge aplogies to all those who haven't hard from us for a while, looking forward to catching up on everyone else's blogs. At times we felt we would never get home, but of course we did and as hard as it sometimes was, we are already thinking about when we might do this all again in Delhi. We are hoping that SCI will do an new egg cycle with our same ED, and freeze the embryos so that Beau has genetically related siblings for our future family expansion. In the mean time we just adore our life with him, his smile, his squeeky noises that will soon be laughter, and his beautiful eyes that stare at you all the time.

Plenty to smile about...

2011-09-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

Contrary to the title of this post, we are having an immensely frustrating time dealing with the red tape that goes with getting UK citizenship and a passport for Beau, and at times it's incredibly hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel (OF COURSE Beau is the light, but the end of the tunnel at times seams nowhere in sight, more on that later), but when Beau dishes out such a warm, radiant smile such as this corker pictured below, all of those frustrations temporarily disappear, and we have a magical moment that puts our fight to get home in clear context... we are SOOOOOOO amazingly lucky to have him and with time, more effort and as ever much perseverance, we get to have this magic at home (not hotel-home, but REAL HOME!!!!).

Of course, its fantastic to have this time together as a family, but we know how special it will be when we get to relax in our own home, with no 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door, with our crazy beloved dogs, close to family and friends, close to somewhere we can go a walk that has actual pavement and without the risk of getting run over by oncoming autorickshaws, and no one ringing the bedroom late at night asking 'what time do you want breakfast tomorrow sir? (actually, that last bit would be quite nice to have at home!!!!)

For us Brits, the citizenship and passport process is a total headache (of course it's a headache in it's own special way no matter who you are or where you're from) but the already tough rules and long processing times have been now been extended. Whereas the British High Commission up until recently advised that getting the citizenship could take around 6 weeks and the passport a further 4 weeks, they now advise that this will take 'many months', and if you call the UK Border Agency who deal with the citizenship applications, they repeatedly quote that they aim to deal with applications quickly 'usually no longer than 6 months'... minimum three, maximum SIX MONTHS!!!!!! That's without applying for the passport and dealing with the exit formalities. The new rules make it very clear that UK citizens will have a very tough time, but regardless of this, I remain optimistic that for future Brits coming to India for surrogacy, or anyone for that matter who has a tough time with red tape for those people who dream of having children with the help of India, this will merely be a hurdle and not a preventative measure. It took so long to get here, as much as we complain about a few more weeks, it's (hopefully) not going to kill us!!!!

We've been here in Delhi 8 going on 9 weeks, and we still have no idea when the UKBA will issue the Citizenship Certificate, their policy is not to give absolutely any information no matter where you are applying from, no matter how desperately you need to return to work, no matter if you might lose your job and have no income, no matter how much risk you face... they just say the usual expect to wait at least another 3 months. It's in a league of it's own for outrageously bad service, especially given it costs US$1000 approx to apply.

Not wishing to tempt fate, we have a feeling that our application MIGHT be progressing, but we're also preparing ourselves mentally for the fact that we might be here many more weeks... we'll keep you posted!

It's amazing how Beau has developed so much in just 7 weeks and a day! Time seems to fly where Beau is concerned, and totally drag where red tape is concerned... He is so alert and content, when he might want something he gives adequate warning with a few moans and grumbles and only rarely does he turn on the siren-wail when we're totally not understanding the urgency of his needs!!!! And his magical smile, it can really turn a tough day into something special!!!

This is such an obvious thing to write, but words can't describe how much we love him, how unbelievably special he is to us, how life has changed overnight since the day he was born and how difficult it is to remember what life felt like before he was born... We have paid the deposit and secured our new apartment in Venice, and knowing that in the hopefully not-too-distant-future, we get to be the family we are in our own home, in a beautiful city, with the dogs that we miss SOOOOOO much, that is an amazing thought that we cannot wait to happen!

7 weeks in......

2011-08-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well this post feels a bit like re-run of the wait to meet our baby! Yes we have been here 7 weeks on Tuesday going into our 8th Week!! It's starting to send us all a bit crazy now is all we can do is sit back and wait....We submitted our MN1 application to the British High Commission on 22nd July and then finally received an application number on the 11th August...Yes you heard right...20 days just to get a number for our application...we rang on Friday and was told we still don't even have a case worker....suprise suprise!! If you don't know the MN1 application is for citizenship in the UK and goes with every other person applying to get into the country, no matter what your circumstances. Every day they receive around 800 applications and ours is sat in a pile somewhere. We knew we would be here for around 12 weeks as they originally said on the Foreign Office website, 8 weeks for citizenship and then 4 weeks for passport application.....and now wait for it, the crappest news ever....this has now increased to 3-6 months for citizenship plus 1 month for Passport!! We've contacted the consulate and they do sweet FA! They are no longer in the position to help after its sent to the UK and its completely out of their hands...:(

So don't know what to do really but wait.......no one can expedite the case as we're in a queue with everyone else.

On another completely different note, 28th August has always been quite a good day for us! We moved in to our first apartment in Hong Kong on the 28-08-08 (The chinese for 8 is "ba" which means luck...so lots of luck hopefully!) My ID card in HK is also the 28-08-08 and We came to Delhi for our first "Donation" on the 28-08-10 and the result was our Boy Beau, a year later! So tomorrow is 28-08 and we are hoping that this week brings us a step closer to home!! Our new apartment in Venice is number 4828....again, we met on the 08-04 and our lucky number 28 keeps coming up!!

We are meant to flying home on the 20th September but at the minute I don't see this happening, so we will be looking to change our flights in the next week or two as one of us will have to go back to Florence to pick up our pups and empty our Florence apartment by the 30th September.

What else has happened??? Beau has continued to be a beautiful boy and fun to be with....he still has his umbilical hernia but his colic does not seem to be as bad which has been good for us, as he is now on a four hour eating pattern! Yay!! Adam has been ill again and his Veneer then broke! So we have all been a bit up and down lately but we have to keep our eye on the prize....HOME!!!!!! Michael went to see Doug and chad with Beau last week and really enjoyed the great company and BBQ ribs! Beau loved the copious amount of cuddles!

Here's some cute pics to finish with as he is the thing that keeps us going and the light of our lives.

Long overdue update!!!!!!!

2011-08-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

SO MUCH has happened in the last 5 weeks (tomorrow) since Beau was born!!!!!! It's been a rollercoaster of experiences and moments, all part of the rich tapestry of our time in Delhi.

Firstly, huge congratulations to Mark and Kerry on the birth of their beautiful baby girl Cailyn, we're really hoping we get to meet up together with Beau soon! And we really hope Sam and Phil are having a fabulous time back home with Ruby and Zoe!!!

A few days after Beau's birth we received the most lovely, generous parcel of gifts sent from Edward, Paul, Vivian, Aria and Sydney (Faith to Vishwas) and here is Beau with a fabulous selection (clearly enjoying his new outfit!!!) Such a kind and lovely thought, we were so touched and grateful.

A few day's after Beau's birth, we started the process of citizenship application. It's impossible to put into words the frustration of this process. When we did our research on surrogacy, we was perfectly aware that for Brits, no matter what country they work with, the citizenship application is a red-tape-bureaucracy-filled headache. When we sent the MN1 citizenship application from the British High Commission, it has to be sent to the UK via the diplomatic postal service. This only leaves and arrives 2 days a week from/to Delhi, and can take up to 2 weeks for the package to arrive at it's intended destination. So it doesn't take a genius to work out that when the citizenship certificate is issued, a month has been wasted sending the application and waiting for the certificate to arrive, That doesn't even begin to include the time taken to process the application!!!!!!!

When we planned our time in Delhi, we studied closely the British High Commission website on the processes involved in applying for UK citizenship from New Delhi. It strongly suggests 6 weeks (ish minimum) to get the certificate and another 4 weeks to get the passport, then 1-15 days to get the FRRO exit via, so we planned 12 weeks in India.

When we called the Home Office in the UK who process the applications, they say 'Applications take 3 to 6 months', yes you heard that correctly, MONTHS!!!!!!!!! Since sending our application 4 weeks ago, we have only just received an application reference number as it took this long for the application to reach the UK via snail-mail, and get inputed onto their computer system. The next stage is for it to wait in a queue to be allocated a case worker who will assess the application. However, with our application being in the same pile as the 800 applications a day for UK citizenship, we can be assured that this will take weeks to be looked at.

So in the mean time, the wait and worry continues... but we remain hopeful that our application lands in the hands of someone who realizes we need to return to our lives and work as quickly as possible. Hopefully in a week or 2 we might be lucky enough to have a case worker allocated, so we will keep you posted!!!!

A great friend from Hong Kong came to Delhi to visit us an see Beau last week, so we took this as an opportunity to travel to Jaipur for some culture and a change of scenery. We LOVED Jaipur!!!!!!! And Jaipur seemed to love Beau, he got so much attention, (all good I'm glad to say).

Jaipur is such a lovely city full of contradictions, hectic but charming, gritty but extremely pretty, definitely one of the most fascinating and rewarding trips we've been on and so wonderful that it was part of our India Odyssey.

(Love this pic of a dog and a monkey haha!)

Adam recently became victim to some form of stomach bug and ended up having a whole day in hospital on various drips. After 2 or 3 days he was right as rain again!

However hard our application process might be, we are still very much enjoying our time in India. We find that Delhi is a city where, although the pleasures are not immediately obvious, the city can take you pleasantly by surprise, whether it's the genuine warmth of it's people, a wonderful meal, people becoming really friendly when you return to the same shops or restaurants, some great shopping (which might not be immediately obvious, but great when you finally hunt it down!) and as crazy and chaotic it's reputation might be, we find it can be surprisingly relaxing. For us, Delhi was not love at first sight, it's a place that grabs your heart over time, and like a great friendship just gets better and stronger with time.

Hoping to meet up with Doug and Chad very soon!!!!!!!!

A whole week old!

2011-07-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

Well our boy Beau is a whole week old today!

He is feeding well, sleeping well and in general being a very good baby! We know this probably won't keep up but we can hope :)
We submitted our application for registration as a British Citizen on Friday so we now need to wait 6 weeks to see if it all goes through, we then have to apply for a UK passport which then takes a further 4 weeks! It all seems a very long time but we are trying not to think of the amount of days waiting but instead concentrating on spending quality family time with our boy.

Adam turned 30 yesterday and we had a very pampered day, body massage, body wraps, pedicures, manicures, facials, scalp massage followed by chinese food! We took it in turns to look after Beau and then when we were both wrapped up, the staff helped us feed and change our boy. The staff at VY lodging and some guests threw a little party for Adam with food and drinks which was great and then we had a night nurse for the first time which was most welcomed and managed to get a whole nights sleep! We still woke when he cried but it was nice to have the help on hand and the sleep was much welcomed!

We've been here 2 weeks now and have about 10 more to go! So lots of time to blog and upload pictures!

Beau Huckleberry is Home (Well Hotel at least!)

2011-07-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

Our baby Beau has been discharged from hospital after only 1 evening, total of 27 hours!! Amazing as we thought it might be 2-3 days!! He is back in our apartment and eating, pooping and sicking to his hearts content! Here's a few more pics with eyes finally open....

It's a...

2011-07-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beau Huckleberry Allton-Nee

Born 9:39am

6lb 3oz / 2.85kg

Words can't express the overwhelming joy, tears and the love that fills our hearts. This photo was taken by the Doctor literally seconds after his heel prick hence the distress!!! There isn't a word that adequately describes the sheer brilliance of today.

The anxious wait continues...

2011-07-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

After a few agonizing days of apprehension and anxious waiting, it looks like our SM has been booked in for a C-Section tomorrow morning (Sunday 17th) at 9am.

We're not entirely sure if the hospital aimed for a natural birth as the dates of cervical sweep and then gel induction 48 hours later may have lead to a natural birth some time today or possibly yesterday. It probably would have alleviated a huge deal of stress and worry if we had just fixed the 17th as a C-Section and been able to focus all our hope and energy on this date.

But at least some of the doubt and worry is shifting and we can focus it on tomorrow morning. If anything changes, we'll keep you posted. We're hoping and praying that this week of anxiety and worry will soon turn to happiness and joy. In the meantime, ENORMOUS thanks to everyone who has sent their warm wishes and kind messages, we hugely appreciate this!!!

Final Scan Pic...

2011-07-14T05:53:00.000-07:00

As much as we'd be liking to show you a photo of our baby outside the womb, here's a lovely pic that the hospital have just sent us from this morning's scan. He/she is looking quite peaceful and relaxed to us, not showing any expression of any desire to leave the comfort of where they are right now...

Ultrasound and meeting our SM

2011-07-14T02:41:00.001-07:00

We met with Shilpi at Dr Jolly's ultrasound clinic at lunchtime today. We were both amazed how busy the place is, the waiting room was packed. This was the first time we met our SM. Whilst we were sat down waiting, Shilpi led our SM to the back of the clinic to prepare for the scan. On first sight, our SM didn't look too happy, (we are sure she is hot, bothered, tired etc so this is totally understandable) and all sorts of thoughts ran through our heads. We were then called into the ultrasound room. When we were introduced, we found her to be very warm with a lovely glowing smile (exactly like the warm smile, bordering on a cheeky grin that we first saw in her photo 9 months ago, that made us say 'Absolutely! This is our wonderful SM, horray!!!!!!!!!"

Dr Jolly is also very warm, cheerful and one of those people with a real air of being distinguished. He explained really well all the magical images we saw on the monitor, what he was looking at and what it all meant.

It crossed our minds and we spoke about on many occasions what it must feel like to finally meet our SM. Would we cry, be overcome with emotion, would we burst into tears when we saw an ultrasound for ourselves? We was actually just struck with awe, almost silent, amazed and transfixed with the miracle of what we were seeing, and overcome with the most sincere gratitude for what our amazing SM is actually doing for us. To see our baby on the monitor, knowing that in maybe hours or at most a few days, we get to hold them and shower them with love was simply amazing. And we left knowing that the petite lady, with a much smaller bump than we imagined, with her lovely warm smile will have our deepest gratitude and respect until the day we die.

Watch this space for just a little longer...

2011-07-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

We both arrived in Delhi very late on Tuesday night and got to our accommodation a little past 1am Wednesday morning. We met with Dr Shivani this evening (loving the new offices btw!!!) Our SM had a membrane sweep this morning, so anything can (or might not) happen in the coming hours/days.

If nothing happens within 2 days, on Friday morning our SM will be given the gel/medical induction, and if nothing still happens quickly enough, we're looking at C-section Saturday or Sunday at the latest.

Our last trip to Delhi was incredibly short and we didn't really have much time to get a feel for the place (half the trip was spent on the journey to and from Agra). We took a quick trip to M-Block Market this morning, pleasantly surprised with the quality and price of the baby goods on offer, and to us, the products in Mothercare are really rather nice, no different from back home. The prices are almost like-for-like compared to Mothercare in Europe which is good.

So unless our SM goes into spontaneous labour, our next update will be after meeting her tomorrow lunchtime and seeing the final ultrasound before the birth. We had Thursday or Friday in our minds as the predicted day of our babies birth, but whats a couple more days of waiting on a journey as exciting as this one?

The Final Countdown...

2011-07-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

Where on earth has the last 35-ish weeks gone?

We are in a final few days of preparation before we head to Delhi. We both planned to travel together (of course) on Tuesday 12th from Italy arriving in Delhi about 11:30pm so arriving at our accommodation in the very early hours of the 13th. Unfortunately, one of us has to go the very long way round, Italy to China, quick work meeting then China to Delhi (talk about 'popping into the office') but we'll both arrive within hours of each other.

Dr Shivani is planning to perform a membrane sweep on the 13th July, we will then be meeting Dr Shivani at 7pm on the 13th for an update. Our SM will be given 2 days from then to see if she goes into natural labour, then if not she will be taken to hospital to be induced. So it looks like fatherhood is little over a week away!

With all our baby shopping, we have tried to be as neutral as possible, but (maybe we are just shopping in the wrong cities) there is a massive void in the neutral department, everything is either solidly blue/boy or pink/girl... getting all our clothes out we did realize that much of the neutral still falls on a slightly boyish side, and we have a complete void of especially girly clothes. So yesterday we did a bit of top-up-girl-shopping so we are prepared to have some lovely clothes whatever the sex (and huge surprise) we get in Delhi.

In the mean time, we are playing what seem silly games on the 'boy or girl' front. We have decided the name for him or her already. When we are out, we might hear a song mentioning the girl's name and get excited thinking 'it's a sign!!!!!'. But then we will quickly spot or hear something with the boy's name, and we realize we are just being plain stupid.

So not it looks like it is time to start packing, this is one scenario where we definitely won't be doing our last minute packing shouting 'the taxi will be here in half an hour!!!!!'

So now, we just hope and pray that the next week brings a safe, healthy birth for our baby and simply wonderful god-sent SM.

What a thoroughly exciting day!

2011-06-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

What a thoroughly exciting day! Firstly, me and Adam are THRILLED with the fantastic news of the safe arrival of Zoe and Ruby to Sam and Phil, we couldn't be more happy for them and wish them the happiest and most beautiful life together.

We exchanged a few emails with Dr Shivani last night, and a this stage, our SM is likely to be induced on the 13th or 14th July. So long as our baby holds in there and doesn't decide to come early, we will arrive in Delhi very late the evening of 12th July and parenthood might await us in 12 to 36 hours after arrival!!!!! Of course, this might change nearer the time, but right now it's such a thrilling reality to have a specific date in mind!!!!

The weeks up to about 30 weeks went at lightening speed, we feel like the last 5 weeks have felt like 5 months, but the reality of having a date in mind feels like we now have minutes to prepare and the next couple of weeks will fly by... 2 weeks tomorrow we will most likely be sat in Zurich airport waiting to board the connecting flight to Delhi.

But in the mean time, we are glued to Sam and Phil's blog, eagerly awaiting photos and updates of their amazing day.

Flight and accommodation booked, visas issued....

2011-06-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

We've been rather quiet on the blogging front lately, mostly down to us making frantic preparations for India and also settling into our new life in Italy. We completely forgot how tiresome and hard work relocating can be, and pretty much 2 weeks after our return from Delhi, we all have to move permanently to Venice. The thought of all that reboxing and unboxing is hideous but it's a lovely thought that the next place we move to will be our family home for quite some time to come!

Italy seems an fascinatingly odd country, and I always question any place where a 250ml can of Coke Light can be EURO 2.5 and a 1500ml bottle of (really quite good) wine can be a mere EURO 2!!!!! The smallest tasks seem to take forever to do here, it seems to take an hour to buy a stamp at the chaotic postoffice, and always seems to involve a lot of shouting and possibly unnecessary complexity, but that is all made up by the fact that it really is quite a stunning place to live.

Festivities here seem to involve a lot of pride, history and passion, and we have tickets to watch 'Il Calcio", a notoriously violent football game that has been played in Florence since the 16th Century. Since we know very little about sport, I thought Wikipedia might help me better understand the rules of the game. I think the wikipedia entry "The modern version allows tactics such as head-butting, punching, elbowing, and choking, but forbids sucker punching and kicks to the head" definitely gives us a sense of what will be in store!!! Sounds like a true gentlemanly sport.

All our shipping arrived from Hong Kong on Friday, and it was truly wonderful to look through all the baby clothes and items we have bought and not seen for about 8 weeks. We recently bought our return tickets to Delhi, received our tourist visas, and finally secured some good quality accommodation in Delhi. The accommodation problem was no mean feat to resolve!!!! We have to stay 70 to 80 days to complete all the complex passport and UK citizenship red tape, so even cheap accommodation can add up in no time for that length of stay. Add the fact that, like most people, we have to keep our flat in Italy during this time, we've spent ages bashing calculators and making budgets to ensure that all goes to plan.

Fortunately my work means I can easily relocate to Delhi for 3 months and work from the apartment, but I do have a sneaky suspicion that the UK government make it as long winded and complex as possible to gain citizenship for children born through surrogacy as a preventative measure. Fortunately life (and a great employer!!!!) has allowed us to work through this to make it a reality that might be impossible for many UK IP's, so we feel blessed that our 3 months in Delhi is achievable.

And of course, if the UK government allowed it, we would like to return home with our baby as soon as possible. But we take great comfort and excitement in the fact that we get 3 months together in India to be a family. Sadly family and friends (and our beloved dogs) will not get to meet him/her until they are 3 months old, but at least we get 3 months of private time to privately be the family we have wanted to be for so long.

New Pics Inside and Outside the Belly!!!!!!!

2011-05-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

What a great day, we've been sent some photo's of all the action taking place inside and outside the belly :)

Adam was thrilled to know that our lovely SM clearly shares his love of orange (which is especially Tuscan and wouldn't be out of place in our new living room!)

We also got sent a few 3D images, not sure if our baby is blowing outwards or just has ENORMOUS cheeks!!!!! Guesses on boy or girl are most welcome. We're still quite undecided. It's amazing how much he/she seems to have changed and developed from the previous 3D scan, although in the previous scans our baby seems to cover their face in a "leave me alone, no pictures please" kind of way so it was hard to tell quite what they look like anyway.

But all we can be grateful and happy for right now is that, after our SM's recent and unfortunate week in hospital, all is now better, she is perfectly healthy and recovered and our baby appears to be doing just fine! Add all this to the lovely sunny weather we have here today and life couldn't be much better!!!!

So it looks like the next time we see his/her face, they will be in our arms.

'La Dolce Vita' all round I say :)

There's 'Tuscan' and there's 'Tat'...

2011-05-07T10:42:00.001-07:00

We are nearly at the end of our first week in Italy. On arrival, our new landlords kindly gave us 2 free nights accommodation in an apartment in the same building as our's wasn't available until the 3rd. It did the job for a couple of nights until we got into the 'real one'. To be honest, the pics of the apartment on the internet we're actually a fair representation of the real thing (what a relief) and the actual bonus is that it appears much bigger in real life.

My only small gripe is that there is 'Tuscan' and then there's 'Tat' and there is a very fine line between the two!!!!! It's amazing that in a fairly sizable city like Florence, shops only sell food, clothes, shoes, wine and cigarettes, and you can't find boring but albeit essential things like clothes airers, washing bowls, cleaning utensils or anything useful for the home for blood nor money!!! I guess Italians prioritize being fed and looking good above all else!!!! Who would want to do anything so boring as mop a floor? So failing to find anything useful, we jumped straight in a taxi and in our best Italian asked the driver "Ikea per favore!!!!!!!!! (Note to self, avoid using taxis like the plague, it would probably be cheaper to charter a helicopter).

Being limited on the housing options, we opted for an open plan-ish loft apartment, so our baby will be sharing our room for the first few months until we know exactly where we want to put down some roots. Unfortunately that means we don't have all the fun of setting up a nursery, however we have spent the day buying exactly the same things for the baby 'zone'. Feels a shame not for them to have their own room, but we at least know we made the right decision, we could fit our old Hong Kong flat into our new apartment about 8 times, so the lack of dividing walls is a small price to pay for the most space we have had in years!!!!!! The dogs are freaked out by having so much space in comparison too. And they are loving the more scenic walks. Florence is surprisingly full of dog lovers, and they do seem to enjoy being the only Pekingese dogs we've seen here so far.

But the most amazing part of the week so far has been food!!!!!! Although quite obvious, all our favorite European treats (ham, cheeses, nice wine) were all imported in Hong Kong and outrageously priced (ie US$15 for a small block of imported cheese, parma ham was pretty much the same price as a second hand family saloon car, a decent bottle of wine possibly the same price as a year's school fees, I severely exaggerate but you catch my drift.... so we pretty much deprived ourselves of tasty European treats for 3 years), so by comparison, the supermarkets here are pretty much giving the food away for free!!!!!!

So our first week in Italy has been surprisingly relaxing, although it has mostly been spent in Ikea!!!! We just booked our flights to Delhi as we've been advised to plan to arrive around 37 weeks going into week 38. That in itself feels like a very proud and exciting moment!

So now it's time to open a bottle of wine, grab an alan key and start putting some furniture together.

Ciao!!!!!!!!!!!!

A bizarre week of mixed emotions

2011-04-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

What a strange week! We don't know where to begin.

Some people say the three biggest stresses are getting married (done), moving house (doing) and having a baby (definitely doing!!!!!) in 24 hours, we will be sat on the plane, gin and tonic almost definitely in hand on our way to our new life in Italy.

This week has been full of worry and anxiety as our surrogate mum has been having mild but frequent contractions and has been closely monitored whilst staying in hospital for over a week now. Fingers excrutiatingly tightly crossed that she will be discharged from hospital in the next day or so. Of course, this is a horrible scenario for anyone, especially given we're not even 30 weeks, but Dr Shivani and her team of medical magicians have done all the possibly can to allow them to give us a much more positive 'we're nearly in the clear' update today which is hugely encouraging. Throughout all this, utrasounds have shown no real stress on our baby. We just hope and pray that they are perfectly happy where they are and have no desire to come any time soon!

We had our leaving party in Hong Kong last night which was an amazing evening. In honour of the Royal Wedding, our party was decorated in a thoroughly patriotic and achingly kitsch array of 'Britishness', union jacks, picture of the royal family (Liz, Phil, Charles, Camilla, Moody Margaret, a sorely missed Queen Mum, and Sarah Ferguson banished somewhere near the toilet doors). A less fitting addition was Bruno the stripper that Adam's colleague arranged, although the Union Jack G-String did at least fit the theme. I really can't give a full explaination that would be believed in a court of law of how 'mid lapdance' Adam managed to knock out a front tooth veneer. That's definitely one we won't be telling our children and grandchildren about!!!!! (although it was far more innocent and less sordid than it sounds).

By the end of the night there was pretty much a hour's free flow of tears, possibly enhanced by the very reasonably priced 4 hours 'all you can drink' included in the ticket price, but never the less a wonderful evening with some much loved friends. It was of course achingly sad to say goodbye to some wonderful people as we leave here after 3 years.

Our 'what a hangover but so worth it' morning was further enhanced by a much more positive update from Delhi that has allowed us to end an anxious, stressful and worry-filled week in a much more relaxed and happy state of mind.

And this post would not be complete without (forgive a little bit of British pride here) making mention of a magical royal wedding that we don't feel embarrassed to say has given us Brits (who as a nation haven't had much to smile about recently) revel in some self indulgent pomp and ceremony.

As we (nearly) breathe a huge sigh of relief that our baby and SM our healthy and safe, say a sad farewell to a frantic concrete jungle that at times drives us crazy but will always be held dearly in our hearts for giving us some much and allowed us to pursue our dream of parenthood, say goodbye to much loved friends, leave one of the many apartments we have lived in that actually did feel like home, we can end a week filled with highs and lows, laughter and tears with a determination to make a fantastic happy life and home for our baby, us and our dogs in Italy. We are filled with hope and optimism that our new life will be as magical as today's fairytale wedding!

Big Gay Wedding Dance

2011-04-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

Whilst we are passing time, getting ready to move next Saturday, sorting out final bills, and a whole host of boring but unfortunately necessary things, here's our blast from the past wedding dance to entertain (if it can be called entertainment!!!!!) or horrify...

26th Week!

2011-04-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

As the scan report that came through suggests, we are 25weeks and 6 days! However, by initial calculations we should be 25 weeks and a day, so not that far off....

No face shots on the ultrasound or images that make us go 'ahhhhhh', just a selection of 'I'm not quite sure what part we're looking at' pictures (very similar to the Rachel situation in 'Friends') that far more importantly help Dr Jolly tell us that our baby and SM are both doing very well and things are exactly how they should be. What more can we ask for!!!

It's such a wonderful update from Delhi in a week where we're so focused on (and impatient to be) leaving Hong Kong in a matter of days, knowing that we couldn't be asking for better news from Dr Shivani and Dr Jolly as we are about to make a bold leap into the unknown in preparing our new life in Italy for us and our baby.

Because us and our fellow Brits have to spend (by comparison) longer than most in Delhi due to citizenship laws and passport issues, at first the thought of three months in Delhi felt a little problematic on so many fronts. But now we are lucky enough to have found (through genuine support from one of our employers) a "live in Delhi, enjoy being parents and send a bit of work via email now and again' solution that lets us relax and really look forward to and embrace our time in India without the pressures of returning to work, losing salary and feeing under the pressure of time.

We're both so happy that after all the time our baby has spent with our wonderful SM in Delhi, we also get to enjoy spending three months in a country that we will forever be indebted to.

Who could ask for more?

12 Year Anniversary

2011-04-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our 12 year anniversary since the day we met at 'One Pound a Pint Night' at our local nightclub (praise be that pound a pint nights don't really exist in Hong Kong, where 'happy hour' prices are still eye-warteringly expensive and hardly any cause to be happy!!!).

It's a lovely thought that we met in the Chinese Year of the Rabbit, and we will be having our baby in the Year of the Rabbit too! (Cue cheesey music: Lion King 'Circle of Life'). In Chinese Astrology, the Rabbit Year is one of the more home-centred gentle signs which sounds perfect to us.

When we tell people that we've been together 12 years, people are 'wow, that's ages' but to us, it's gone in a flash, we could write a massive list of all the great things we've done together, the highs and the not so highs, and the many times we spoke about how great it would be to have a baby and a family of our own, so it's a brilliant thought that all the talk is actually coming to realization!

3 weeks today we'll be leaving on our new adventure, wondering what the next 12 years might bring...

A moment of calm (and boredom)

2011-04-03T01:43:00.001-07:00

Feeling at a bit of a lose end today, yesterday our apartment in Hong Kong was emptied, all our shipping got packed and sent off for shipment to Italy. We don't leave Hong Kong until the end of this month, living with a bed, TV and a sofa and 2 suitcases of clothes. All our lovely baby clothes and accessories will be on the seas soon, so I can't go and take an occasional peek in the wardrobe and have a broody baby moment looking at all the things getting excited to think how fantastic it will be when our baby is actually in our arms. At the same time, all the kitchen accessories have gone so we have no alternative but to eat out for 4 weeks which is a joy!!!!

For both of us, work has gone from being stress-filled hectic mentalism (actually, a fantastic way to keep us occupied) and suddenly gone remarkably calm, making the counting of days much longer. Our 'to-do-list' to get ready for our move to Italy is getting much shorter and more manageable, and I have an awkward feeling that this month is really going to drag.

Our most exciting achievement was taking our dogs to the vets to get them vaccinated up to the eyeballs ready to take them with us to Italy. I kind of get the impression, as much as I tell them how wonderful it will be to have their walks in beautiful Florentine Piazzas rather than Hong Kong back streets, they're not really listening or appreciative of the impact of the move :)

More so, the rules on transporting dogs on Lufthansa mean the dog must be able to lie down flat, turn around, stretch out and not touch the sides of the container.... so I guess our dogs will really be travelling First Class, shame they don't apply the same rules to human cargo in Economy!!!!!!!!

Hoping to get the rest of our 3D scan pics in a couple of weeks so will post these then, in the meantime, back to boredom but the excitement of dreaming of our family together in Italy..........

Our Camera Shy Baby

2011-03-17T05:03:00.000-07:00

We just got a couple of 3D scan images emailed from the clinic and we're loving this one that screams 'leave me alone, I'm happy where I am for the next 16 weeks!!!!!!!!' According to Dr Shivani, all results are good and within normal limits and number which is hugely good news. Baby and SM doing well, and us obviously thrilled too!

Can't wait to see the rest of the scan pics when they get posted.

So exciting to see our baby looking like a baby as crazy as that sounds. Taking the usual bets on boy or girl, not that we at all care but time to place your bets.....

Triple marker test...

2011-03-06T06:29:00.001-08:00

Well, firstly the triple marker test came back all ok...which is great! We know it doesn't 100% guarantee the outcome of these tests but were pretty happy with the results...so if you don't know what the triple marker test is, here is Dr. Google's blurb....

Between the 15th and 20th weeks of pregnancy, expectant mothers usually are offered a blood test called the multiple marker test. Sometimes called a triple screen or a quad screen, depending on the number of things measured, it also might be done in combination with blood tests and an ultrasound in the first trimester.

For the multiple marker screening, a sample of blood is drawn from the mother to measure the levels of:

hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin), which is made by the placenta
estriol, which is made by the placenta and the fetus
alpha-fetoprotein (AFP), which is made by the fetus
Sometimes the level of inhibin-A, which is made by the placenta, also is measured. The levels of these substances can help doctors identify a fetus at risk for certain birth defects, including neural tube defects (like spina bifida) and some chromosomal abnormalities (like Down syndrome).

We are now entering our 20th week based on our first dates given, so 19 full weeks passed so far! We're officially over half way! Hooray!!

I decided to change the blog design as been thinking about the Nationality of our child; although they will be half Indian, they will also be half British too but we will be living in Italy so all a bit confusing for the little tyke! All we know is that it will take us 10-12 weeks to get the british birth certificate and then the british passport and then we are free to live wherever we like to a degree, well as long as Michael's boss keeps him freelance!

So much is changing about Surrogacy in Hong Kong that we worry about returning, as many people are being investigated as it is still illegal to pay for surrogacy in Hong Kong, and only married straight couples can do it at the moment, we were advised to leave India, go to UK first then come back to Hong Kong, but they could still question the mother part on the birth certificate....so we are still aiming to leave in the next 6-8 weeks and set up home in Italy before picking up our baby in India. All a bit stressful and a lot to do in such little time!

Anyway...good news is BAM is fine and growing well and only about 4 more months to go :)

A big 'Hi Five' from Delhi!

2011-02-17T08:11:00.001-08:00

We had our 17-ish week scan today and a huge sigh of relief that everything is looking great (normal results/levels of all that matters), and this scan picture really made us both smile!!!!!!! Talk about a big Hi Five, a wave for the camera...

It's actually getting quite difficult to think of anything to write on the blogging front, we have our fingers tightly crossed that all will continue in as boring and uneventful as possible fashion. Our minds are slowly drifting to the reality of getting prepared for 12 weeks in Delhi.

We're relocating to Italy at the end of April, so have a huge move on our hands which is keeping our minds occupied, then after a couple of months we have to be ready to go to Delhi. Our dream of spending a few weeks in the lap of 5 star luxury has been somewhat diluted by the amount of time we will have to be there, thanks to our lovely UK Foreign Office doing all they can to make the process of passport application as slow as possible. So we're starting to think where on earth we will live in Delhi, (seriously the prices we're being quoted for a serviced apartment are on par with renting a flash NYC/London/Paris pad) who's going to be looking after the dogs at home in Italy... how work is going to squeeze into all of this, but actually, none of this is a problem as it's all product of achieving our dream of having our own family!

Kung Hei Fat Choi! Happy New Year of the Golden Rabbit!

2011-02-03T06:02:00.000-08:00

Well today is the first day of the year of the Golden Rabbit. The year of the Rabbit comes around every 12 years but the Golden Rabbit only comes around every 60 years so its definitly a good year! We are now in our 15th week and everything is progressing nicely. We are hoping to see another scan in a few weeks time and need to start buying the all important things for our baby, the exciting bit!! I've been thinking about what our baby will look like, their personality etc and as we currently live in Hong Kong, the chinese zodiac is around everywhere at the moment and I decided to do a but of research about what our kid might be like! Here's what I found:

"In Chinese astrological thought, a "rabbit person" is graceful, cultured and well-mannered. Although Rabbit people get along well with many people, at heart they are considered to be basically reserved creatures, and are only truly happy when engrossed in some sort of scholarly or intellectual activity.

Rabbit people are considered too sensitive for the world around them; they are not able to thrive in competitive or aggressive environments, and are anxious when others force them to take risks. Their inner world is considered too delicate for unsettled or unpredictable situations, and they tend to create peaceful and comfortable atmospheres--like rabbit dens--instinctively. According to traditional Chinese astrology, this characteristic makes them very hospitable and attentive people, who take care of those around them.

The average Rabbit person emphasizes the importance of small details. They pay attention to everything from color, design and furniture to food and conversation. And only when they are sure that everything has been arranged as they wish can these people relax and have fun.

People born in the year of the Rabbit often lead a conservative lifestyle where one of the most important things is their security. This quality has a negative side also: opting for safety over risk, they may miss good opportunities. These people are not frivolous or irresponsible, for when they truly believe in something, they are serious, persevering and capable.

Calm as they are, it is not easy to provoke Rabbit people. They are sentimental and compassionate. They can be moved by the personal problems you share with them."

So it looks like it will be a sensitive little thing! Also with being born sometime in July, it'll probably be a cancer sign (21/06-22/07), and it seems a very similar matching sign for Year of the Rabbit!;

Crabs hide in their shells for safety, and will wave their claws at an approaching threat, but get under their soft belly and they can be badly hurt. Cancerians are the same, but they're as sensitive to the feelings of others as they are to their own, have creative imaginations, and they are devoted to home and family.

No matter what their personality, we can not WAIT to meet them! Also my 30th Birthday is 23rd July so it'll be a double whammy celebration in July in India!!

We are currently on our holidays as its chinese new year and decided to come to Europe as we have been in Asia for around 5 years now. We took my parents to Venice for a few days which they loved, and i'll post some pictures soon. It has been great to relax and let our hair down as this will be our last holiday before baby arrives. We then flew to Berlin (its freezing!!!) and have been here for a day so far, heading out today to take photos and sightsee and eat a lot of hearty German food! We fly back to hong Kong on Sunday and thats when the serious planning and booking flights will begin.

I'll keep you updated and wish you all a very happy and Golden Year of the Rabbit!

Working out due date!

2011-01-22T20:21:00.000-08:00

Hello all, well we are now approaching our 14th or is it 13th week??! We are a bit confused with dates as originally our 40 week due date (which i know in India means nothing as the little ones seem to some whenever they feel ready!) but originally the scans were dating us 13 weeks this tuesday (25/01/11) but the last scan meant we were 14 weeks this Monday (24/01/11) Thats a whole week and a day out!

Is this normal when using frozen embies? We don't really mind as the pregnancy is developing well and BAM is growing with a strong heartbeat. We just want to work out a rough date to book open tickets to Delhi!

So our original due date was 02nd August (40 weeks) so we thought arrival in Delhi on 12th July (37 weeks), but now should we aim to arrive on 04th July with the scan showing a week ahead??

Any help would be greatly appreciated! All the best to those on the same journey as us and we look forward to our paths crossing some point this summer :)

6 weeks, 8 weeks, 10 weeks and today we are 12 weeks.....

2011-01-17T05:33:00.000-08:00

We've been hiding a huge secret.....as the title might suggest we are 12 weeks pregnant! We are over the moon and expecting our little one sometime in July! The official due date is August 2nd but we'll be in Delhi around 12th July (37 weeks) and a week off Adam's 30th Birthday...a really cool birthday present or what??!!
As most of you are aware, we had two early miscarriages in Thailand and then a negative in India, so we had our final 3 Frosties and decided for one more go as this entire process is both mentally, physically and financially exhausting and Voila! As many of you have told us before, keep going and it WILL happen!

We wanted to wait till now as we have a good strong heartbeat and the baby is developing well, we've decided to use the name BAM (Baby Adam and Michael, Sorry Will and Michael, it was too good to not use!) for the meantime until the birth.

Our first result on about 16th November showed a good strong beta of 330...followed by the 30th November with a well defined gestational sac, 18th December we had a heartbeat! (whoo hoo!) and then 3rd January 2011 showed a good heartbeat and well developing fetus, we've just our 12 week scan today and here are the pics.....

A massive thank you to SCI healthcare, Dr Shivani, Dr Jolly, Shilpi, Neha and anyone else who has helped us so far on our journey! Roll on 20 odd weeks and a hot summer in India!!!! Whoooooo hooooo!!!

A big fat massive negative

2010-10-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, we are very much not pregnant.

It's like a massive blow to the core of so much that we wished for.

Third attempt, third disappointment, I think we can safely say that this might be it for us with surrogacy and surrogacy dreams for a while. I'm sure it's so easy for people to say 'don't give up' or 'those who don't try fail' but so much time, energy. emotion and financial resources have gone into this it starts to impact dramatically and negatively on your relationship with the person you love the most. You spend your time dreaming rather than living, pull all your financial resources into what you wish for rather than living life to the full with each other, you fill your days with anxiety rather than freedom and you spend 90% of your life in misery looking for a glint of joy.

That joy is not meant to be for us at this point in time, and we have put life on hold for nothing so it seems...

Exhausted, disappointed, empty and nothing anyone can do or say will change that. What will be will be and so it seems what we want will not or cannot be ours at this point in time.

Time to start living life a while rather than questioning what it will not give us.

Photos of dogs as have nothing else to write and am bored whilst anxiously waiting....

2010-10-06T01:56:00.000-07:00

The 2WW (which isn't really a 2WW) is starting to play more on my mind now. I've been lucky to have been busy with work and traveling, but now I'm back working from home, I can feel the insanity starting to brew in anticipation of this Sunday's test results...

The 2WW has absolutely flown by, but I have a feeling that the next few days will make up for it as I can feel the day's getting gradually longer with Saturday no doubt feeling like a week!!!

In the mean time, I feel it rude of me not to introduce our other babies, Fogg and Fergus our dogs! They missed me loads when I was away I am guessing as they are practically stuck to me like velcro. If only they knew the sleepless nights that not just us but they will be in for when all goes to plan, they're moody little men at the best of times and I'm sure they'll make their displeasure known!!! :)

They absolutely hate waring any form of clothing, so I'm sure they'll appreciate someone else being dressed up and not them!!!

5 more days of waiting.....

Just under 2WW :)

2010-10-03T05:09:00.000-07:00

Well, we had great news that 12 of the embryo's all excellent quality were cultured to the blastocyst stage! this was wonderful news....we transferred 3 top quality blasts on friday 1st October and had 6 good quality ones left for freezing! We are now in the 2WW, well it's not officially 2ww its about 10 days as the embryos are older....role on next sunday! Please stick and lots of baby dust our way! Your very wanted little ones :) How cute are they already??

Embryos

2010-09-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

We have just had some news from Dr Shivani. We have the following embryos that will be allowed to culture until tomorrow, so it looks like a transfer might take place any time soon!

10 x 4 cell grade one embryos

2 x 4 cell grade two embryos

This is almost exactly the same number of embryos we had in Thailand, but the quality at this stage is much higher. (We had about 11 embryos, but only a couple were grade one off the top of my head. )

So this all looks very positive and a definite improvement on our last attempt.

All being well, it looks like the joy, angst, optimism and anxiety of the 2WW might very nearly be upon us!!!!!

Will update tomorrow as soon as we know more....

Egg Collection....

2010-09-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

How nice it feels to have some good news for a change!

We have just found out that we have 29 eggs, 26 are mature and all are good quality, horray!

Very much looking forward to Tuesday when we will know how many embryos we might have...

Will update soon....

Egg Retrieval Day Approaches...

2010-09-23T02:16:00.000-07:00

Firstly, MASSIVE congratulations to all of those who have recently welcomed their children into the world there are so many in the last few weeks, and hopefully many more to come. Those of us who are on this journey will hopefully have this joy to come one day soon!

Feeling very lazy on the blogging front, fortunately we are both so busy with work it is a welcome 'mind occupier' and we cannot believe that we are nearly at egg retrieval day! We had a minor delay due to a small medical issue with our ED, but all seems to be resolved and we have been updated that egg retrieval will take place on 25th or 26th September. Absolutely looking forward to finding out all the vital info that follows... and fingers very tightly crossed for some good embryo's!!!!!

We are finding it quite hard to believe that the 2WW might soon be upon us. Thank goodness for a busy workload that will hopefully be a good distraction, although it is impossible not to feel anxious.

Anyone who has read our older posts will know that a huge amount of stress from our previous attempts came from how bad we felt things were handled and information (or lack of it) was passed on. All we can say is that Dr Shivani and her team do an amazing job of keeping us well informed and supported. We never have to ask a question as information flows so freely and clearly you feel you get the answers before needing to ask the question!!! This is the polar opposite of our experience in Thailand, and exceeds our expectations!

Everything feels so much in order and in control, it's actually quite hard to know what to write, especially when there is nothing to complain about (in which case I could have banged on about it all day)!!!!

Will post soon when we have the results of egg collection and fertilization....

Start of a new journey...

2010-08-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

Today, we are in Delhi, after a couple of blissful weeks in Italy relaxing and planning out next step on our journey to parenthood.

So many people have recommended Dr Shivani at SCI in Delhi, it was obvious to us that this is where we should take our journey following our stress and disappointment in Thailand! And we are so happy that she agreed to help and work with us.

Today, we had the pleasure of meeting Dr Shivani! I can't stress how different (in the best possible way) and positive we feel after meeting her. Given that the Doctor in Thailand did not even speak English, we feel like we achieved in one morning at SCI what would have taken weeks of unanswered emails and ignored phone calls in Bangkok!!! But now I guess is the time to put behind us past grievances and focus purely on the positive experience and optimism that we feel we will enjoy with Dr Shivani in Delhi!!! She also has a great team behind her, and info is never short or thin on the ground. For us, the not knowing and waiting is the hardest part, but quick and thorough answers make it so much more bearable, it's impossible not to feel good about where we are at right now.

Because of work, we have only been able to come to Delhi for 2 days!!!!! We will be donning our tourist hats tomorrow on a day trip to the Taj Mahal before a late meeting at SCI then on to the airport. Such a shame that we can't spend more time here :(

Delhi is not how we expected at all, beyond the visual chaos we feel surprisingly chilled, and everyone we've met is so unbelievably friendly it feels like the Truman Show!

We were lucky enough to have the exact egg donor we had our heart set on and we gather that she will be having her period in the next few days. We are looking at a embryo transfer mid-September which doesn't feel too far away, and we are sure given how busy work is it will absolutely fly by, praise be!!!!

It seems that there are a lot of recent or imminent births at SCI which is obviously fantastic news, at the same time it reminds us of how far we are from our dream, but hopefully being here in Delhi brings us one step closer.

It actually feels good to be blogging again, as we know that when we do, things are happening!!!

Bad news again and back to square one... horrible!

2010-07-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, we today received bad news. Although we don't have full details from the Doctor, we just had a message to say that our SM had an ultrasound and the MD says she will definitely have her period any day soon. We don't know if the hCG levels dropped or increased, but can most safely presume that there was no visible gestational sac at 5 weeks and 6 days.

I think we definitely need to look to India, we feel very much in the dark in Thailand and are not sure that it would be wise to continue our journey there.

We blew all of our savings on 2 attempts in Thailand, and now we have to find an affordable way to vigorously pursue our dreams of parenthood. Like anyone, we could save over a few months, but the sense of urgency and desire is far too great.

Does anyone mind letting us know what clinics they are using? We feel the urge to contact clinics as urgently as possible. Any names and contact details would be massively appreciated.

We have to pursue our dream, albeit with a heavy heart from todays very sad news.

If you prefer to send a private email, it's michaelallton at hotmail dot co dot uk (not com dot uk)

Thanks everyone x

Good news and bad news...

2010-07-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

We had an email this morning to say that the hCG level was tested yesterday and is 1014 (last test was 412.3 on Friday) so this is a fairly strong increase which we were hugely excited about.

However, the SM also had an ultrasound last night but it shows no gestational sac. Looking at dates, the SM is 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and good old Doctor Google says that the gestational sac might not be visible until 5 weeks and 4/5 days, with the hCG level being at least 1100.

We are short of this is both areas (hCG level and length of pregnancy) so the Doctor has arranged another test and scan for Saturday 17th.

It's such an emotional dilemma, but we just have to passionately hope that the hCG level is too low and that the SM needs a few more days of pregnancy to actually see a gestational sac. Or we might be blindly ignoring the real fact that this isn't looking too good. Either way, we know that Saturday will bring a more definitive answer, and just hope and pray that everything's ok.

It's going to be a long 5 days until then...

In for a very tense weekend of waiting...

2010-07-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

On a bit of a downer today, the SM had her first blood test last Friday and her first hCG level was 133 for 10 days post transfer. We were very positive about this as the previous SM's first test result was 70 and it doubled before we were told the bad news.

The agency in Bangkok dealing with the hospital are absolutely useless. We had to push them to make sure she had another test today as they had not informed us of any more that had been scheduled. (The agent used to have a great Thai assistant who was on top of everything, but she is on leave, now it's a total shambles and I even had to explain to the agency manager what hCG levels are and what they mean, I was shocked he didn't know!!!)

Today's result was 412.3 after a week. Because the hospital/agency tell you nothing, it feels like we have to google most things, and the general 'web consensus' seems to be that the level should increase double every 2 days. It's certainly not the rise we hoped for, and seems to have risen 40% every 2-3 days rather than 60%... I'm no doctor or mathematician but we're not sure that these numbers are at all encouraging...

Her next test is on Monday, and now we have a very anxious weekend to see what the next reading is. It's so hard trying to remain optimistic and positive when any information we find suggests that this is not a good sign. Deep sigh...

Suppose we have to be as strong and practical as possible. If anyone has any thoughts, please do share them! Please don't feel you have to be positive-only, anyone's thoughts about what's happening hCG level-wise would really be appreciated!!!

Cautiously Pregnant...

2010-07-05T05:10:00.000-07:00

FINALLY, some progress and some news to post!!!

Since the first SM miscarried, we have been on an incredibly frustrating journey.... the agency found a 2nd SM, and when it come to the transfer date, for some very odd reason, the Dr in Thailand decided that she was not suitable for transfer as she did not respond to the Progynova. However, this was reassuring that the hospital would not 'waste' valuable embryo's on a transfer they did not feel would result in a viable pregnancy. We then had to wait to find a new SM. Being British, we absolutely needed the agency to find a single or widowed SM, and there are very few in Thailand, so it has taken a long time to find new SM's.

They finally found a 3rd SM who was very keen. However, when it came to transfer date, she said she wanted more money!!! This naturally created huge anxiety, as in one sense, we presume that (as bad as I feel saying this) 90% of the SM's are only doing this for the money. In one sense, we thought 'well it's not much that she's asking for' but the agency encouraged us to wait and find a new SM as although they rarely have any issues with the SM's, they said occasionally they have 1 or 2 who use their pregnancy to extort more cash and paying more cash now would set a dangerous precedent... we decided that it was best to wait for a new SM.

We was quite prepared for a very long wait, and were incredibly surprised when the agency got back that same day and said that they have a new single SM who's period was only days away...

We had a message on Saturday from the agency saying 'Congrats' and the new SM is pregnant!!!!

However exciting, we are trying to be as calm and patient as possible. The agency are TERRIBLE at giving the information everyone expects and deserves. We have been given no hCG level, and calls and emails just don't get us anywhere near the info we need! Her second bloodtest is on Wednesday, so we are (A) hoping the first unknown hCG level was encouragingly high, and that (B) Wednesday's level will have increased dramatically!!!! Fingers incredibly tightly crossed...

Hopefully some more much needed info from the hospital will help deal with the conflict of anxiety, excitement, fear of bad news, hoping for the absolute best that we dealt with before.

Will keep you all posted......

it's been a while......

2010-05-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Obviously, our two month absence has meant our surrogacy journey hit a disappointing and non eventful brick wall.....We had a second surrogate arranged but without elaborating or speculating too much, wasn't suitable to be an SM. Her wall lining after 2 weeks of Progynova didn't manage to develop the thickness of her wall lining and a transfer would not have been viable. We have three "frosties" left to transfer and wanted to make sure that they are able to be in the best possible environment for their development. The good news is that we have another SM. Thailand being Thailand, after all the recent and ongoing political drama's, its an absolute miracle that the agency have managed to find a new SM when the city has been pretty much in lock down. We are looking forward to but apprehensive about the next transfer as they are the last three embies and it would mean having to complete (and pay for...) a whole new egg retrieval, donation, transfer etc.

We leave Hong Kong in July and are moving to Italy. There is something reassuring about Hong Kong and Bangkok being practically neighbors, and the distance between Bangkok and Florence somehow feels worlds apart. So we are hoping to achieve as much as possible (even though none of it is in our hands) before we leave. We have looked into using Dr. Shivani as we have seen and heard so many success stories. If this transfer is not successful, it is certainly a major consideration whether we stick with Thailand or pursue India.

There has been so much amazing news on the blogs and at the same time lots of heartbreak. We have been reading many blogs with anticipation and hope that one day we get the news we have been waiting for.

We'll try and update more regularly but it's been so hard lately to update with any good news. Some "time off" and a refreshed perspective has definitely motivated us to find some optimism in this journey and not to give up hope.

New Surrogate

2010-03-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Thought i'd update everyone as it's been nearly a week.

Not exactly the best week of our lives but we are getting through and found out yesterday that they have found a new SM! This is great news. We were prepared to use the original SM but the Doc in Bangkok advised against it as she produced an antibody which attacks embryo's in her womb. He was suprised that she has a son already as her body produced quite a high level of this antibody. So unfortunately we have to let the first SM go, it's quite a sad choice but we need to carry on and hopefully one day bring home our baby.

The new SM is young (22) has one son already and is ready to start taking Progynova after her next period, so all being well in the next 6 weeks we should have another transfer. It's our last three blastocysts from the previous cycle. We don't know how many will make the thawing process, but its estimated to be 60+% so hopefully 2 will make it!

Great news to all the expectant parents out there! Its great to read your profiles and feel that having a baby and taking it home HAPPENS! fingers crossed to everyone out there and we'll be reading your blogs with anticipation and excitement. I look forward to posting some good news soon :)

Sad news......

2010-03-10T21:52:00.000-08:00

We had a very sad, heartbreaking day yesterday. We were waiting for the beta results and first scan to see how many gestational sacs our surrogate would have and unfortunately some time in the last few days our SM miscarried, she hasn't passed on the embryo's yet but they did not continue to grow and her beta level was only 12.

We are extremely upset by the news as we were content with how things were progressing. Its hard to say how it feels to finally get pregnant and lose it so soon. We are being strong and will not give up on our dream of having our own family. We are making plans now for our next transfer as we still have 3 blastocysts frozen and ready. The agency advised us that its the first miscarriage they have had in 50 pregnancies, so they are concerned that it could be to do with our SM rather than the embryo itself. We are waiting to hear off the doctor today to shed any light on what happened. We are not giving up at all.....we have come this far, which I never thought was possible and we'll continue until we take our baby home with us. We want to thank everyone for all your support so far and please keep your thoughts with us as we will hopefully continue our journey soon. Best wishes Adam and Michael x

It's all about the Beta's!!!

2010-03-03T19:06:00.000-08:00

So we just had an email yesterday from the Doc in Bangkok about our Beta numbers. The HcG levels are now on 165, which is good for 14 days post transfer. They should be around 5-400+ so progressing well but definitely not a multiple!!! It started on 70 on Monday the first and by wednesday just over double, so we're happy!! Our lovely SM has her scan on 17th March or their abouts , so our baby will be 6 weeks and a day by then. This is when they'll check heart beats, gestational sacs etc....so fingers crossed till then!

Its still a shock that we're pregnant and over the moon with all your support and kind wishes. We hope the same for everyone else and have been checking your stories regularly too. So fingers crossed our baby continues to grow stronger and we'll post again soon!!

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-01T01:52:00.000-08:00

Absolutely great news, after a day of stomach-churning waiting (and receiving the news 2 hours later than planned) we received the following sms message from the agency:

'She's not pregnant...(I'm kidding)'

It's quite difficult to see the funny side in that on reflection, as my stomach did perform an impressive somersault when I read the first three words!!!

Phewwwwwwww!!!!!! We are obviously thrilled and can't describe how happy we feel. The hCG level from the blood test was 70, so not as high as people might hope for but certainly not the lowest. The Doctor says that for 12 days post-blastocyst transfer, this is a reasonable average.

12 day post-transfer hCG level for a 3 day old embryo should be between 17-429

For 5 day old blastocyst, 2 days have to be taken off, so the ideal level is 17-147 so we are slap bang in the middle.

Not being the highest or the lowest, and being comfortably in the middle is possibly the best place for us to be... trying to balance the thrill of today's news with the anxiety to come is no mean feat but it's quite difficult to come down from this high!

The SM has another blood test on Wednesday, so everything extremely tightly crossed that the hGC level will double tomorrow then double again on Wednesday.

Time for a beer, cheers!!!!!!!!!

20 Hours to go....

2010-02-28T00:08:00.000-08:00

Well we're in the final stretch of our 2WW and i'm extremely nervous and apprehensive about tomorrow. This 2WW feels like its been the longest two weeks ever....I have wished it away but now it's nearly finished I just hope to god that it continues with positive news. We find out Monday around 12 p.m. Hong Kong time which is GMT +8. We've done all we can to make sure this pregnancy happens, even letting the little ones get to the blastocyst stage as we knew there was a risk that most of them wouldn't even make it to that stage. The SM has been taking all her injections regularly with supplements and we know her period is due tomorrow. So either way we will know tomorrow! She hasn't felt any different which I don't know is a good sign or not and it's quite difficult now not to feel negative as we are so far away from the SM. We're just praying for good news! The embryo's should of been transferred around the 12-15th Feb, but as the SM lining wasn't ready they allowed the embryo's to proceed to the blastocyst stage and they were eventually transferred on the 17th Feb. Although its only been 11 days since embryo transfer, it has been 16 days since the embryos were created, so hopefully they are growing nicely in their new home!! We'll post again tomorrow but would appreciate any positive energy or thoughts that come our way!! Fingers crossed x

Blast off!! Blastocyst Embryo's

2010-02-24T05:55:00.000-08:00

To keep ourselves occupied, we have downloaded pictures of our Embryos, the first one is of 3 that were transferred to our surrogate on the 17th Feb and the other picture is of 3 Blastocyst embryo's that were frozen, and two that were too small and underdeveloped at that stage. We have a weekend of waiting to come, which wont be fun at all but Monday is soon here! If you don't know what a blastocyst is, I'll try and explain in a roundabout way......Are you seated comfortably??? :)

During normal conception the embryo doesn't normally reach the uterus until day four or five after fertilisation, and by delaying transfer, the blastocyst can be placed into the uterus at the same stage that it would arrive naturally. Usually only 30-50 percent of embryos grow to blastocyst stage, so by doing this process you are giving the embryos the best chance of development and also stop the chance of implanting embryos that would not have developed naturally. Still with us???

Hope that makes sense and you can work out what the pictures actually are. In the three that were transferred, the thinner layer around the outside eventually turns into the umbilical cord and the small group of cells becomes the baby! (everything crossed!) We'll update on Monday x

5 More Days

2010-02-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well, we're half way through the dreaded 2WW.....it feels like sometimes it's taking ages and at others going fast, we have 5 more days left and should hopefully hear on Monday. I feel like I can concentrate on nothing else at the minute and it's affecting my work at school. It's hard to concentrate when you want something so badly that you feel your head could explode at times! We can do no more than just wait and hold our breath! We heard off Amp yesterday who said the surrogate is doing well and still injecting to help the embryo's attach and grow.... Don't have much to say but thank you all for your love and support over the last few weeks, it means a lot to us to have your thoughts with us over this horrible wait. We'll update again on Monday so watch this space...keep everything crossed!!!

Wednesday 17th, Transfer Day...

2010-02-17T02:54:00.000-08:00

Surrogate had another check-up on Monday, but her womb lining still wasn't ready. So the 11 embryo's we're allowed to culture to the blastocyst stage. Was worried that any other good quality embryo's other than the best three (for implant) might not be able to be frozen, but got told that with a different combination of chemicals, blastocyst embryo's CAN be frozen, although it does cost more.

Another check-up for the SM was scheduled for Wednesday (today). At 10am, 3 good quality blastocyst embryo's were transfered. We met Amp, the surrogacy agent early afternoon and received the following news:

From the original 11 good quality embryo's, by day five, 8 had progressed to blastocyst stage, but only 6 were good quality. So three have been transfered today, and the remaining 3 have been frozen.

Now the dreaded 12 day wait..... fingers EXTREMELY tightly crossed!!!!

A long weekend of waiting........

2010-02-15T03:55:00.000-08:00

This weekend was Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day, and everyone has disappeared. Information is very thin on the ground. There is probably not much news to give, but the wait is killing me!!!! I dread to think how awful and tense the 'two week wait' is going to be when the embryo's are finally transfered.

SM was scanned on Sunday, and her womb lining still isn't the desired thickness for embryo transfer. So more injections, and she will return to the hospital on Tuesday for another scan.

Still have 11 good embryos (as of Tuesday afternoon), so the hospital recommend allowing 4 to develop to the blastocyst stage, with a view to implant 3. The other 7 have now been frozen. This means that embryo implant will either take place tomorrow or Wednesday (day 5). Fingers very tightly crossed that the SM's wall lining will have been given every opportunity to develop to the desired thickness!!!

Going to the hospital tomorrow to meet the doctor, see where everything is at, and will probably go to the UK Consulate to enquire what documents I will need to issue any children born a UK passport.

Egg Donor

2010-02-13T04:04:00.000-08:00

We selected our egg donor from a list sent from the agency about 2 months prior (we decided around Christmas time). This allowed the hospital and agency time to find a potential Surrogate Mother (SM from here on) and ensure that through medication, they could synchronize their periods.

During our first weekend in Bangkok, whilst donating sperm, the egg donor had 35 eggs extracted (yes, 35!!!!!!!!!!) at the same time. Of these, 23 were good quality according to the lab. After fertilizing these with the sperm on Friday 12th Feb, we was informed by email Saturday morning that we have 11 good quality embryo's developing, amazing news!

The hospital advise that we use three embryo's for implant, and we freeze the remaining 8 for further use if the first attempt is not successful.

According to the hospital, the SM had more injections on Friday to increase her wall thickness (it needs to be around 7mm) She will have another scan on Sunday (Valentine's Day) to see if she is ready. If she is, they will transfer the embryo's on Monday 15th.

We have been given the option to develop the 3 embryo's to the blastocyst stage. This means that the embryo will be more mature and potentially stronger (with 120 cells) than implanting an embryo at a lesser-developed stage (with maybe 8-16 cells). This costs an extra THB10,000, but might only be necessary if the SM's lining is not thick enough, allowing extra time for the wall to increase whilst maintaining the quality of the embryo's without freezing.

We are waiting for the hospital to get back to us tomorrow (Sunday 14th) to see what stage the SM is at, if she will be ready for embryo transfer on Monday, or if we have to wait a day or two more...

First Weekend in Bangkok

2010-02-13T03:28:00.000-08:00

Arrived in Bangkok on February 11th, met Amp (a member of the agency staff) at the airport. Got to our hotel in the Silom area downtown about 11pm, and arranged to meet Amp at a local subway station at 8.30am next day, to get to the hospital at 9.30am

Regardless of the need for sleep, and to feel on top form in the morning, the need for a 'pint or two' to clam our apprehension quickly took over, and crawling into bed at 3am certainly didn't help waking up for a 8am alarm! Feeling a little bit rough, and disappointed that I didn't feel on top form, we got to the hospital at 9.30am.

We had to have a HIV and hepatitis tests, so we waited in the hospital cafe, drinking a coffee in 34 degree heat, in February, listening to Mariah Carey's 'All I Want for Christmas' waiting for the results... very surreal!!!

The dreaded sperm donation, led into a windowless room, not dissimilar to young offender's institution with off-putting straight Thai porn didn't really help create the right mood, but got the 'job done' and the container was swiftly passed to the laboratory and received with a surprisingly dignified bow and sense of ceremony, but much appreciated.

Costs...

2010-02-13T02:55:00.000-08:00

So far, surrogacy in Thailand cost's the following: (THB = Thai Baht)

Egg Donor Fee: THB90,000

Agency Fee: THB119,000

ICSI Treatment: THB170,000

Surrogate Mother's Pharmaceutical's : THB54,000

(This includes ultrasounds, medicines, hormone injections for the full term of the pregnancy and the preparation of the Egg Donor)

Surrogate Screening and Lab Fees: THB6,800

Initial Compensation for SM: THB15,000

(This is for maternity clothes after 3 months)

Miscellaneous Compensation for SM: THB17,000

This is for any missed employment, transport fees, doctors appointments, child care if needed

Surrogate Fee: THB221,000 (paid in 10 installments)

Multiple Birth: THB37,000 per additional child

Delivery: THB39,000 PLUS US$750 for C Section

Additional freezing of developed embryos:

Storage Container: THB15,000

(plus THB1,400 per embryo frozen)

Total: THB746,000.oo (not including cost of C-Section and freezing embryo's at THB1,400 each)

At todays exchange rate, this is approximately the following:

Great British Pounds: 14,327

Euro: 16,516

US$: 22,483

Why Thailand?

2010-02-13T02:40:00.000-08:00

Given that we live in Hong Kong, we was instantly attracted to the fact that Bangkok is just a 2 hour flight away. Although distance is not the 'deal breaker' it certainly helped knowing that we could visit at short notice whenever we liked, and at modest cost.

We compared Thai surrogacy to Indian surrogacy, as these are the most competitive in fees. We could not afford to work with surrogacy in the USA at all!

The costs of surrogacy in Thailand is fairly affordable, (a little cheaper than India) and unlike India, the compensation paid to the surrogate mother (at our particular agency) is paid in 10 equal installments.

In India, we was informed that the TOTAL surrogate compensation was due to be paid on first signs of a viable pregnancy (just the blood test, not the 12 week scan). This is by no means typical of all clinics in India, just the particular one we enquired with. We was advised of other clinics that have better fee plans/schedules, but our enquiries with Bangkok had reached the point of the whole process being very viable for us and almost ready for us to start, so we decided to make a firm commitment to work with Thailand.

Paying monthly installments makes the whole process more affordable from monthly salary, and removes one of the larger lump-sum payments in the initial stages!

The hospital is very modern, with good facilities, extremely nice staff and a general sense on visiting that all patients are treated with care and respect. There is absolutely nothing 'third world' about the hospital whatsoever, and it is certainly a much nicer place to be than most UK hospitals.

Thailand is an amazing country, and Bangkok, after the initial sense of being overwhelming always turns out to be a very relaxed, friendly and open minded city and a pleasure to visit. Thai egg donors and surrogate mothers also tend to be extremely healthy, with good diets, non-smokers, non-drinkers etc. We also discovered that the donors and surrogates tend to be introduced to the agency and hospital via 'friends-of-friends' and word of mouth. There is absolutely no feeling of it being exploitive, at least to us.

Introduction

2010-02-13T02:27:00.001-08:00

We are Adam and Michael, and have been in a relationship for nearly 11 years. We are from the UK, and both currently live and work in Hong Kong. We have wanted to raise our own family together for a number of years, and are currently using a surrogate mother in Thailand working with Synphaet (Ram) Hospital in Bangkok.

We have started this blog during the weekend of egg retrieval and fertilisation, but we are going to take you through the process and our experiences from the beginning and update daily from here. We found that there is an abundance of information on (gay) surrogacy in the US and India, and very little about the options available in Thailand. Although there are a huge number of concerns, anxieties, legal issues etc working in a country that is maybe not so established and transparent on the surrogacy map, we hope that our experiences will give insight to anyone else considering working with Thai surrogacy.

Hope you find this blog interesting and useful...

Adam and Michael