Start of a new journey...

Today, we are in Delhi, after a couple of blissful weeks in Italy relaxing and planning out next step on our journey to parenthood.

So many people have recommended Dr Shivani at SCI in Delhi, it was obvious to us that this is where we should take our journey following our stress and disappointment in Thailand! And we are so happy that she agreed to help and work with us.

Today, we had the pleasure of meeting Dr Shivani! I can't stress how different (in the best possible way) and positive we feel after meeting her. Given that the Doctor in Thailand did not even speak English, we feel like we achieved in one morning at SCI what would have taken weeks of unanswered emails and ignored phone calls in Bangkok!!! But now I guess is the time to put behind us past grievances and focus purely on the positive experience and optimism that we feel we will enjoy with Dr Shivani in Delhi!!! She also has a great team behind her, and info is never short or thin on the ground. For us, the not knowing and waiting is the hardest part, but quick and thorough answers make it so much more bearable, it's impossible not to feel good about where we are at right now.

Because of work, we have only been able to come to Delhi for 2 days!!!!! We will be donning our tourist hats tomorrow on a day trip to the Taj Mahal before a late meeting at SCI then on to the airport. Such a shame that we can't spend more time here :(

Delhi is not how we expected at all, beyond the visual chaos we feel surprisingly chilled, and everyone we've met is so unbelievably friendly it feels like the Truman Show!

We were lucky enough to have the exact egg donor we had our heart set on and we gather that she will be having her period in the next few days. We are looking at a embryo transfer mid-September which doesn't feel too far away, and we are sure given how busy work is it will absolutely fly by, praise be!!!!

It seems that there are a lot of recent or imminent births at SCI which is obviously fantastic news, at the same time it reminds us of how far we are from our dream, but hopefully being here in Delhi brings us one step closer.

It actually feels good to be blogging again, as we know that when we do, things are happening!!!

Bad news again and back to square one... horrible!

As the title suggests, we today received bad news. Although we don't have full details from the Doctor, we just had a message to say that our SM had an ultrasound and the MD says she will definitely have her period any day soon. We don't know if the hCG levels dropped or increased, but can most safely presume that there was no visible gestational sac at 5 weeks and 6 days.

I think we definitely need to look to India, we feel very much in the dark in Thailand and are not sure that it would be wise to continue our journey there.

We blew all of our savings on 2 attempts in Thailand, and now we have to find an affordable way to vigorously pursue our dreams of parenthood. Like anyone, we could save over a few months, but the sense of urgency and desire is far too great.

Does anyone mind letting us know what clinics they are using? We feel the urge to contact clinics as urgently as possible. Any names and contact details would be massively appreciated.

We have to pursue our dream, albeit with a heavy heart from todays very sad news.

If you prefer to send a private email, it's michaelallton at hotmail dot co dot uk (not com dot uk)

Thanks everyone x

Good news and bad news...

We had an email this morning to say that the hCG level was tested yesterday and is 1014 (last test was 412.3 on Friday) so this is a fairly strong increase which we were hugely excited about.

However, the SM also had an ultrasound last night but it shows no gestational sac. Looking at dates, the SM is 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and good old Doctor Google says that the gestational sac might not be visible until 5 weeks and 4/5 days, with the hCG level being at least 1100.

We are short of this is both areas (hCG level and length of pregnancy) so the Doctor has arranged another test and scan for Saturday 17th.

It's such an emotional dilemma, but we just have to passionately hope that the hCG level is too low and that the SM needs a few more days of pregnancy to actually see a gestational sac. Or we might be blindly ignoring the real fact that this isn't looking too good. Either way, we know that Saturday will bring a more definitive answer, and just hope and pray that everything's ok.

It's going to be a long 5 days until then...

In for a very tense weekend of waiting...

On a bit of a downer today, the SM had her first blood test last Friday and her first hCG level was 133 for 10 days post transfer. We were very positive about this as the previous SM's first test result was 70 and it doubled before we were told the bad news.

The agency in Bangkok dealing with the hospital are absolutely useless. We had to push them to make sure she had another test today as they had not informed us of any more that had been scheduled. (The agent used to have a great Thai assistant who was on top of everything, but she is on leave, now it's a total shambles and I even had to explain to the agency manager what hCG levels are and what they mean, I was shocked he didn't know!!!)

Today's result was 412.3 after a week. Because the hospital/agency tell you nothing, it feels like we have to google most things, and the general 'web consensus' seems to be that the level should increase double every 2 days. It's certainly not the rise we hoped for, and seems to have risen 40% every 2-3 days rather than 60%... I'm no doctor or mathematician but we're not sure that these numbers are at all encouraging...

Her next test is on Monday, and now we have a very anxious weekend to see what the next reading is. It's so hard trying to remain optimistic and positive when any information we find suggests that this is not a good sign. Deep sigh...

Suppose we have to be as strong and practical as possible. If anyone has any thoughts, please do share them! Please don't feel you have to be positive-only, anyone's thoughts about what's happening hCG level-wise would really be appreciated!!!

Cautiously Pregnant...

FINALLY, some progress and some news to post!!!

Since the first SM miscarried, we have been on an incredibly frustrating journey.... the agency found a 2nd SM, and when it come to the transfer date, for some very odd reason, the Dr in Thailand decided that she was not suitable for transfer as she did not respond to the Progynova. However, this was reassuring that the hospital would not 'waste' valuable embryo's on a transfer they did not feel would result in a viable pregnancy. We then had to wait to find a new SM. Being British, we absolutely needed the agency to find a single or widowed SM, and there are very few in Thailand, so it has taken a long time to find new SM's.

They finally found a 3rd SM who was very keen. However, when it came to transfer date, she said she wanted more money!!! This naturally created huge anxiety, as in one sense, we presume that (as bad as I feel saying this) 90% of the SM's are only doing this for the money. In one sense, we thought 'well it's not much that she's asking for' but the agency encouraged us to wait and find a new SM as although they rarely have any issues with the SM's, they said occasionally they have 1 or 2 who use their pregnancy to extort more cash and paying more cash now would set a dangerous precedent... we decided that it was best to wait for a new SM.

We was quite prepared for a very long wait, and were incredibly surprised when the agency got back that same day and said that they have a new single SM who's period was only days away...

We had a message on Saturday from the agency saying 'Congrats' and the new SM is pregnant!!!!

However exciting, we are trying to be as calm and patient as possible. The agency are TERRIBLE at giving the information everyone expects and deserves. We have been given no hCG level, and calls and emails just don't get us anywhere near the info we need! Her second bloodtest is on Wednesday, so we are (A) hoping the first unknown hCG level was encouragingly high, and that (B) Wednesday's level will have increased dramatically!!!! Fingers incredibly tightly crossed...

Hopefully some more much needed info from the hospital will help deal with the conflict of anxiety, excitement, fear of bad news, hoping for the absolute best that we dealt with before.

Will keep you all posted......

it's been a while......

Obviously, our two month absence has meant our surrogacy journey hit a disappointing and non eventful brick wall.....We had a second surrogate arranged but without elaborating or speculating too much, wasn't suitable to be an SM. Her wall lining after 2 weeks of Progynova didn't manage to develop the thickness of her wall lining and a transfer would not have been viable. We have three "frosties" left to transfer and wanted to make sure that they are able to be in the best possible environment for their development. The good news is that we have another SM. Thailand being Thailand, after all the recent and ongoing political drama's, its an absolute miracle that the agency have managed to find a new SM when the city has been pretty much in lock down. We are looking forward to but apprehensive about the next transfer as they are the last three embies and it would mean having to complete (and pay for...) a whole new egg retrieval, donation, transfer etc.

We leave Hong Kong in July and are moving to Italy. There is something reassuring about Hong Kong and Bangkok being practically neighbors, and the distance between Bangkok and Florence somehow feels worlds apart. So we are hoping to achieve as much as possible (even though none of it is in our hands) before we leave. We have looked into using Dr. Shivani as we have seen and heard so many success stories. If this transfer is not successful, it is certainly a major consideration whether we stick with Thailand or pursue India.

There has been so much amazing news on the blogs and at the same time lots of heartbreak. We have been reading many blogs with anticipation and hope that one day we get the news we have been waiting for.

We'll try and update more regularly but it's been so hard lately to update with any good news. Some "time off" and a refreshed perspective has definitely motivated us to find some optimism in this journey and not to give up hope.

New Surrogate

Thought i'd update everyone as it's been nearly a week.

Not exactly the best week of our lives but we are getting through and found out yesterday that they have found a new SM! This is great news. We were prepared to use the original SM but the Doc in Bangkok advised against it as she produced an antibody which attacks embryo's in her womb. He was suprised that she has a son already as her body produced quite a high level of this antibody. So unfortunately we have to let the first SM go, it's quite a sad choice but we need to carry on and hopefully one day bring home our baby.

The new SM is young (22) has one son already and is ready to start taking Progynova after her next period, so all being well in the next 6 weeks we should have another transfer. It's our last three blastocysts from the previous cycle. We don't know how many will make the thawing process, but its estimated to be 60+% so hopefully 2 will make it!

Great news to all the expectant parents out there! Its great to read your profiles and feel that having a baby and taking it home HAPPENS! fingers crossed to everyone out there and we'll be reading your blogs with anticipation and excitement. I look forward to posting some good news soon :)

Sad news......

We had a very sad, heartbreaking day yesterday. We were waiting for the beta results and first scan to see how many gestational sacs our surrogate would have and unfortunately some time in the last few days our SM miscarried, she hasn't passed on the embryo's yet but they did not continue to grow and her beta level was only 12.

We are extremely upset by the news as we were content with how things were progressing. Its hard to say how it feels to finally get pregnant and lose it so soon. We are being strong and will not give up on our dream of having our own family. We are making plans now for our next transfer as we still have 3 blastocysts frozen and ready. The agency advised us that its the first miscarriage they have had in 50 pregnancies, so they are concerned that it could be to do with our SM rather than the embryo itself. We are waiting to hear off the doctor today to shed any light on what happened. We are not giving up at all.....we have come this far, which I never thought was possible and we'll continue until we take our baby home with us. We want to thank everyone for all your support so far and please keep your thoughts with us as we will hopefully continue our journey soon. Best wishes Adam and Michael x

It's all about the Beta's!!!

So we just had an email yesterday from the Doc in Bangkok about our Beta numbers. The HcG levels are now on 165, which is good for 14 days post transfer. They should be around 5-400+ so progressing well but definitely not a multiple!!! It started on 70 on Monday the first and by wednesday just over double, so we're happy!! Our lovely SM has her scan on 17th March or their abouts , so our baby will be 6 weeks and a day by then. This is when they'll check heart beats, gestational sacs etc....so fingers crossed till then!

Its still a shock that we're pregnant and over the moon with all your support and kind wishes. We hope the same for everyone else and have been checking your stories regularly too. So fingers crossed our baby continues to grow stronger and we'll post again soon!!

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely great news, after a day of stomach-churning waiting (and receiving the news 2 hours later than planned) we received the following sms message from the agency:

'She's not pregnant...(I'm kidding)'

It's quite difficult to see the funny side in that on reflection, as my stomach did perform an impressive somersault when I read the first three words!!!

Phewwwwwwww!!!!!! We are obviously thrilled and can't describe how happy we feel. The hCG level from the blood test was 70, so not as high as people might hope for but certainly not the lowest. The Doctor says that for 12 days post-blastocyst transfer, this is a reasonable average.

12 day post-transfer hCG level for a 3 day old embryo should be between 17-429

For 5 day old blastocyst, 2 days have to be taken off, so the ideal level is 17-147 so we are slap bang in the middle.

Not being the highest or the lowest, and being comfortably in the middle is possibly the best place for us to be... trying to balance the thrill of today's news with the anxiety to come is no mean feat but it's quite difficult to come down from this high!

The SM has another blood test on Wednesday, so everything extremely tightly crossed that the hGC level will double tomorrow then double again on Wednesday.

Time for a beer, cheers!!!!!!!!!