Friday, 3 August 2012

Extremes of Happiness and Sadness on a Special Day

Beau's 1st Birthday on the 17th July was of course a wonderful and very special day.  We updated our blog to wish our beautiful boy a very happy birthday and to update that our current pregnancy seemed to be going safe and well.  However, that evening we received a devastating email to say that the scan on the previous day (about a 13 week scan) failed to detect a heartbeat, and a second scan on the 17th confirmed this.

Like many people, we thought that the first 12 weeks were the 'risky' stage, and felt huge relief when we passed this.  But it just goes to show just how fragile life can be, but at the same time just amplifies how lucky and blessed we feel to have Beau!!!!!

Our thoughts have also very much been with our wonderful surrogate mother, S.  I am sure that the loss must be felt equally, and naturally for her there are unpleasant after effects to deal with.  We just hope that she also heals emotionally and physically as quickly as possible, to be able to continue to strive for her dreams too!

We have decided to put our dreams and plans of extending our family on hold for a while.  On a practical level, we need to recover financially before we can embark on what will be our 6th attempt at surrogacy.  On an emotional level, we feel that the anxiety and stress of surrogacy is something that we aren't ready for right now, we just want to focus all our love and energy on Beau.

We have just returned from a trip to Italy and the UK where Beau had a big 1st birthday party with family and friends.  Living so far from our family, it was touching and wonderful to see beau surrounded by so much love and affection.  In 10 days, we didn't use the stroller once, he just wants to walk everywhere all day, we have no idea where all this energy comes from!!!!!

Dr Shivani will be sending the results of test through soon to see if there was any detectable reason for the sudden loss of heartbeat.  But in the mean time, we try our very best to heal and move forward knowing just how lucky and blessed we are to have our fabulous, beautiful and beloved Beau in our lives.


15 comments:

  1. Oh no, so very sad for your loss. You are so right, life is vulnerable and so precious. Happy birthday to your beautiful boy.

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  2. So sorry to hear of your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Happy belated birthday to Beau! Sending cyber hugs to the 3 of you... ooo

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  3. So sorry...no heartbeat is something no one wants to hear...unfortunately there are too many of us that have heard that...we all too well understand what you are going through...keep your chin up, regroup and give Beau a kiss...surrogacy is not for the faint hearted, for sure!! Take care...

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  4. so sorry to hear of your loss. you are so blessed to have Beau, he is the light of your life right now.

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  5. We are so sorry to hear this, at a time when you thought you were "safe" in the pregnancy too. :( Happy Birthday to Beau. You have a good positive attitude and a reslience I can tell. Love and hugs Sr x

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  6. So sorry for your loss guys. Take of yourselves and the little one. GBLC

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  7. Oh man...I just saw this after being away for a while. I'm so sorry you guys. BIG HUGE UGH! Take care...

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  8. So very sorry guys, our thoughts are with you.WHAM

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  9. So sorry to hear of your news guys :( (((hugs))) and warm wishes your way. A very happy belated birthday to Beau x

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  10. Michael and Adam,
    Chad and I are in Hong Kong until Tuesday. If you guys are here, we'd love to see you. Send me an email if you get a chance.

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  11. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  13. hi guys! are you still out there? hope all is well.

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