A big fat massive negative

As the title suggests, we are very much not pregnant.

It's like a massive blow to the core of so much that we wished for.

Third attempt, third disappointment, I think we can safely say that this might be it for us with surrogacy and surrogacy dreams for a while. I'm sure it's so easy for people to say 'don't give up' or 'those who don't try fail' but so much time, energy. emotion and financial resources have gone into this it starts to impact dramatically and negatively on your relationship with the person you love the most. You spend your time dreaming rather than living, pull all your financial resources into what you wish for rather than living life to the full with each other, you fill your days with anxiety rather than freedom and you spend 90% of your life in misery looking for a glint of joy.

That joy is not meant to be for us at this point in time, and we have put life on hold for nothing so it seems...

Exhausted, disappointed, empty and nothing anyone can do or say will change that. What will be will be and so it seems what we want will not or cannot be ours at this point in time.

Time to start living life a while rather than questioning what it will not give us.

Photos of dogs as have nothing else to write and am bored whilst anxiously waiting....

The 2WW (which isn't really a 2WW) is starting to play more on my mind now. I've been lucky to have been busy with work and traveling, but now I'm back working from home, I can feel the insanity starting to brew in anticipation of this Sunday's test results...

The 2WW has absolutely flown by, but I have a feeling that the next few days will make up for it as I can feel the day's getting gradually longer with Saturday no doubt feeling like a week!!!

In the mean time, I feel it rude of me not to introduce our other babies, Fogg and Fergus our dogs! They missed me loads when I was away I am guessing as they are practically stuck to me like velcro. If only they knew the sleepless nights that not just us but they will be in for when all goes to plan, they're moody little men at the best of times and I'm sure they'll make their displeasure known!!! :)

They absolutely hate waring any form of clothing, so I'm sure they'll appreciate someone else being dressed up and not them!!!

5 more days of waiting.....

Just under 2WW :)

Well, we had great news that 12 of the embryo's all excellent quality were cultured to the blastocyst stage! this was wonderful news....we transferred 3 top quality blasts on friday 1st October and had 6 good quality ones left for freezing! We are now in the 2WW, well it's not officially 2ww its about 10 days as the embryos are older....role on next sunday! Please stick and lots of baby dust our way! Your very wanted little ones :) How cute are they already??

Embryos

We have just had some news from Dr Shivani. We have the following embryos that will be allowed to culture until tomorrow, so it looks like a transfer might take place any time soon!

10 x 4 cell grade one embryos

2 x 4 cell grade two embryos

This is almost exactly the same number of embryos we had in Thailand, but the quality at this stage is much higher. (We had about 11 embryos, but only a couple were grade one off the top of my head. )

So this all looks very positive and a definite improvement on our last attempt.

All being well, it looks like the joy, angst, optimism and anxiety of the 2WW might very nearly be upon us!!!!!

Will update tomorrow as soon as we know more....

Egg Collection....

How nice it feels to have some good news for a change!

We have just found out that we have 29 eggs, 26 are mature and all are good quality, horray!

Very much looking forward to Tuesday when we will know how many embryos we might have...

Will update soon....

Egg Retrieval Day Approaches...

Firstly, MASSIVE congratulations to all of those who have recently welcomed their children into the world there are so many in the last few weeks, and hopefully many more to come. Those of us who are on this journey will hopefully have this joy to come one day soon!

Feeling very lazy on the blogging front, fortunately we are both so busy with work it is a welcome 'mind occupier' and we cannot believe that we are nearly at egg retrieval day! We had a minor delay due to a small medical issue with our ED, but all seems to be resolved and we have been updated that egg retrieval will take place on 25th or 26th September. Absolutely looking forward to finding out all the vital info that follows... and fingers very tightly crossed for some good embryo's!!!!!

We are finding it quite hard to believe that the 2WW might soon be upon us. Thank goodness for a busy workload that will hopefully be a good distraction, although it is impossible not to feel anxious.

Anyone who has read our older posts will know that a huge amount of stress from our previous attempts came from how bad we felt things were handled and information (or lack of it) was passed on. All we can say is that Dr Shivani and her team do an amazing job of keeping us well informed and supported. We never have to ask a question as information flows so freely and clearly you feel you get the answers before needing to ask the question!!! This is the polar opposite of our experience in Thailand, and exceeds our expectations!

Everything feels so much in order and in control, it's actually quite hard to know what to write, especially when there is nothing to complain about (in which case I could have banged on about it all day)!!!!

Will post soon when we have the results of egg collection and fertilization....

Start of a new journey...

Today, we are in Delhi, after a couple of blissful weeks in Italy relaxing and planning out next step on our journey to parenthood.

So many people have recommended Dr Shivani at SCI in Delhi, it was obvious to us that this is where we should take our journey following our stress and disappointment in Thailand! And we are so happy that she agreed to help and work with us.

Today, we had the pleasure of meeting Dr Shivani! I can't stress how different (in the best possible way) and positive we feel after meeting her. Given that the Doctor in Thailand did not even speak English, we feel like we achieved in one morning at SCI what would have taken weeks of unanswered emails and ignored phone calls in Bangkok!!! But now I guess is the time to put behind us past grievances and focus purely on the positive experience and optimism that we feel we will enjoy with Dr Shivani in Delhi!!! She also has a great team behind her, and info is never short or thin on the ground. For us, the not knowing and waiting is the hardest part, but quick and thorough answers make it so much more bearable, it's impossible not to feel good about where we are at right now.

Because of work, we have only been able to come to Delhi for 2 days!!!!! We will be donning our tourist hats tomorrow on a day trip to the Taj Mahal before a late meeting at SCI then on to the airport. Such a shame that we can't spend more time here :(

Delhi is not how we expected at all, beyond the visual chaos we feel surprisingly chilled, and everyone we've met is so unbelievably friendly it feels like the Truman Show!

We were lucky enough to have the exact egg donor we had our heart set on and we gather that she will be having her period in the next few days. We are looking at a embryo transfer mid-September which doesn't feel too far away, and we are sure given how busy work is it will absolutely fly by, praise be!!!!

It seems that there are a lot of recent or imminent births at SCI which is obviously fantastic news, at the same time it reminds us of how far we are from our dream, but hopefully being here in Delhi brings us one step closer.

It actually feels good to be blogging again, as we know that when we do, things are happening!!!

Bad news again and back to square one... horrible!

As the title suggests, we today received bad news. Although we don't have full details from the Doctor, we just had a message to say that our SM had an ultrasound and the MD says she will definitely have her period any day soon. We don't know if the hCG levels dropped or increased, but can most safely presume that there was no visible gestational sac at 5 weeks and 6 days.

I think we definitely need to look to India, we feel very much in the dark in Thailand and are not sure that it would be wise to continue our journey there.

We blew all of our savings on 2 attempts in Thailand, and now we have to find an affordable way to vigorously pursue our dreams of parenthood. Like anyone, we could save over a few months, but the sense of urgency and desire is far too great.

Does anyone mind letting us know what clinics they are using? We feel the urge to contact clinics as urgently as possible. Any names and contact details would be massively appreciated.

We have to pursue our dream, albeit with a heavy heart from todays very sad news.

If you prefer to send a private email, it's michaelallton at hotmail dot co dot uk (not com dot uk)

Thanks everyone x

Good news and bad news...

We had an email this morning to say that the hCG level was tested yesterday and is 1014 (last test was 412.3 on Friday) so this is a fairly strong increase which we were hugely excited about.

However, the SM also had an ultrasound last night but it shows no gestational sac. Looking at dates, the SM is 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and good old Doctor Google says that the gestational sac might not be visible until 5 weeks and 4/5 days, with the hCG level being at least 1100.

We are short of this is both areas (hCG level and length of pregnancy) so the Doctor has arranged another test and scan for Saturday 17th.

It's such an emotional dilemma, but we just have to passionately hope that the hCG level is too low and that the SM needs a few more days of pregnancy to actually see a gestational sac. Or we might be blindly ignoring the real fact that this isn't looking too good. Either way, we know that Saturday will bring a more definitive answer, and just hope and pray that everything's ok.

It's going to be a long 5 days until then...

In for a very tense weekend of waiting...

On a bit of a downer today, the SM had her first blood test last Friday and her first hCG level was 133 for 10 days post transfer. We were very positive about this as the previous SM's first test result was 70 and it doubled before we were told the bad news.

The agency in Bangkok dealing with the hospital are absolutely useless. We had to push them to make sure she had another test today as they had not informed us of any more that had been scheduled. (The agent used to have a great Thai assistant who was on top of everything, but she is on leave, now it's a total shambles and I even had to explain to the agency manager what hCG levels are and what they mean, I was shocked he didn't know!!!)

Today's result was 412.3 after a week. Because the hospital/agency tell you nothing, it feels like we have to google most things, and the general 'web consensus' seems to be that the level should increase double every 2 days. It's certainly not the rise we hoped for, and seems to have risen 40% every 2-3 days rather than 60%... I'm no doctor or mathematician but we're not sure that these numbers are at all encouraging...

Her next test is on Monday, and now we have a very anxious weekend to see what the next reading is. It's so hard trying to remain optimistic and positive when any information we find suggests that this is not a good sign. Deep sigh...

Suppose we have to be as strong and practical as possible. If anyone has any thoughts, please do share them! Please don't feel you have to be positive-only, anyone's thoughts about what's happening hCG level-wise would really be appreciated!!!

Cautiously Pregnant...

FINALLY, some progress and some news to post!!!

Since the first SM miscarried, we have been on an incredibly frustrating journey.... the agency found a 2nd SM, and when it come to the transfer date, for some very odd reason, the Dr in Thailand decided that she was not suitable for transfer as she did not respond to the Progynova. However, this was reassuring that the hospital would not 'waste' valuable embryo's on a transfer they did not feel would result in a viable pregnancy. We then had to wait to find a new SM. Being British, we absolutely needed the agency to find a single or widowed SM, and there are very few in Thailand, so it has taken a long time to find new SM's.

They finally found a 3rd SM who was very keen. However, when it came to transfer date, she said she wanted more money!!! This naturally created huge anxiety, as in one sense, we presume that (as bad as I feel saying this) 90% of the SM's are only doing this for the money. In one sense, we thought 'well it's not much that she's asking for' but the agency encouraged us to wait and find a new SM as although they rarely have any issues with the SM's, they said occasionally they have 1 or 2 who use their pregnancy to extort more cash and paying more cash now would set a dangerous precedent... we decided that it was best to wait for a new SM.

We was quite prepared for a very long wait, and were incredibly surprised when the agency got back that same day and said that they have a new single SM who's period was only days away...

We had a message on Saturday from the agency saying 'Congrats' and the new SM is pregnant!!!!

However exciting, we are trying to be as calm and patient as possible. The agency are TERRIBLE at giving the information everyone expects and deserves. We have been given no hCG level, and calls and emails just don't get us anywhere near the info we need! Her second bloodtest is on Wednesday, so we are (A) hoping the first unknown hCG level was encouragingly high, and that (B) Wednesday's level will have increased dramatically!!!! Fingers incredibly tightly crossed...

Hopefully some more much needed info from the hospital will help deal with the conflict of anxiety, excitement, fear of bad news, hoping for the absolute best that we dealt with before.

Will keep you all posted......

it's been a while......

Obviously, our two month absence has meant our surrogacy journey hit a disappointing and non eventful brick wall.....We had a second surrogate arranged but without elaborating or speculating too much, wasn't suitable to be an SM. Her wall lining after 2 weeks of Progynova didn't manage to develop the thickness of her wall lining and a transfer would not have been viable. We have three "frosties" left to transfer and wanted to make sure that they are able to be in the best possible environment for their development. The good news is that we have another SM. Thailand being Thailand, after all the recent and ongoing political drama's, its an absolute miracle that the agency have managed to find a new SM when the city has been pretty much in lock down. We are looking forward to but apprehensive about the next transfer as they are the last three embies and it would mean having to complete (and pay for...) a whole new egg retrieval, donation, transfer etc.

We leave Hong Kong in July and are moving to Italy. There is something reassuring about Hong Kong and Bangkok being practically neighbors, and the distance between Bangkok and Florence somehow feels worlds apart. So we are hoping to achieve as much as possible (even though none of it is in our hands) before we leave. We have looked into using Dr. Shivani as we have seen and heard so many success stories. If this transfer is not successful, it is certainly a major consideration whether we stick with Thailand or pursue India.

There has been so much amazing news on the blogs and at the same time lots of heartbreak. We have been reading many blogs with anticipation and hope that one day we get the news we have been waiting for.

We'll try and update more regularly but it's been so hard lately to update with any good news. Some "time off" and a refreshed perspective has definitely motivated us to find some optimism in this journey and not to give up hope.

New Surrogate

Thought i'd update everyone as it's been nearly a week.

Not exactly the best week of our lives but we are getting through and found out yesterday that they have found a new SM! This is great news. We were prepared to use the original SM but the Doc in Bangkok advised against it as she produced an antibody which attacks embryo's in her womb. He was suprised that she has a son already as her body produced quite a high level of this antibody. So unfortunately we have to let the first SM go, it's quite a sad choice but we need to carry on and hopefully one day bring home our baby.

The new SM is young (22) has one son already and is ready to start taking Progynova after her next period, so all being well in the next 6 weeks we should have another transfer. It's our last three blastocysts from the previous cycle. We don't know how many will make the thawing process, but its estimated to be 60+% so hopefully 2 will make it!

Great news to all the expectant parents out there! Its great to read your profiles and feel that having a baby and taking it home HAPPENS! fingers crossed to everyone out there and we'll be reading your blogs with anticipation and excitement. I look forward to posting some good news soon :)

Sad news......

We had a very sad, heartbreaking day yesterday. We were waiting for the beta results and first scan to see how many gestational sacs our surrogate would have and unfortunately some time in the last few days our SM miscarried, she hasn't passed on the embryo's yet but they did not continue to grow and her beta level was only 12.

We are extremely upset by the news as we were content with how things were progressing. Its hard to say how it feels to finally get pregnant and lose it so soon. We are being strong and will not give up on our dream of having our own family. We are making plans now for our next transfer as we still have 3 blastocysts frozen and ready. The agency advised us that its the first miscarriage they have had in 50 pregnancies, so they are concerned that it could be to do with our SM rather than the embryo itself. We are waiting to hear off the doctor today to shed any light on what happened. We are not giving up at all.....we have come this far, which I never thought was possible and we'll continue until we take our baby home with us. We want to thank everyone for all your support so far and please keep your thoughts with us as we will hopefully continue our journey soon. Best wishes Adam and Michael x

It's all about the Beta's!!!

So we just had an email yesterday from the Doc in Bangkok about our Beta numbers. The HcG levels are now on 165, which is good for 14 days post transfer. They should be around 5-400+ so progressing well but definitely not a multiple!!! It started on 70 on Monday the first and by wednesday just over double, so we're happy!! Our lovely SM has her scan on 17th March or their abouts , so our baby will be 6 weeks and a day by then. This is when they'll check heart beats, gestational sacs etc....so fingers crossed till then!

Its still a shock that we're pregnant and over the moon with all your support and kind wishes. We hope the same for everyone else and have been checking your stories regularly too. So fingers crossed our baby continues to grow stronger and we'll post again soon!!

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely great news, after a day of stomach-churning waiting (and receiving the news 2 hours later than planned) we received the following sms message from the agency:

'She's not pregnant...(I'm kidding)'

It's quite difficult to see the funny side in that on reflection, as my stomach did perform an impressive somersault when I read the first three words!!!

Phewwwwwwww!!!!!! We are obviously thrilled and can't describe how happy we feel. The hCG level from the blood test was 70, so not as high as people might hope for but certainly not the lowest. The Doctor says that for 12 days post-blastocyst transfer, this is a reasonable average.

12 day post-transfer hCG level for a 3 day old embryo should be between 17-429

For 5 day old blastocyst, 2 days have to be taken off, so the ideal level is 17-147 so we are slap bang in the middle.

Not being the highest or the lowest, and being comfortably in the middle is possibly the best place for us to be... trying to balance the thrill of today's news with the anxiety to come is no mean feat but it's quite difficult to come down from this high!

The SM has another blood test on Wednesday, so everything extremely tightly crossed that the hGC level will double tomorrow then double again on Wednesday.

Time for a beer, cheers!!!!!!!!!

20 Hours to go....

Well we're in the final stretch of our 2WW and i'm extremely nervous and apprehensive about tomorrow. This 2WW feels like its been the longest two weeks ever....I have wished it away but now it's nearly finished I just hope to god that it continues with positive news. We find out Monday around 12 p.m. Hong Kong time which is GMT +8. We've done all we can to make sure this pregnancy happens, even letting the little ones get to the blastocyst stage as we knew there was a risk that most of them wouldn't even make it to that stage. The SM has been taking all her injections regularly with supplements and we know her period is due tomorrow. So either way we will know tomorrow! She hasn't felt any different which I don't know is a good sign or not and it's quite difficult now not to feel negative as we are so far away from the SM. We're just praying for good news! The embryo's should of been transferred around the 12-15th Feb, but as the SM lining wasn't ready they allowed the embryo's to proceed to the blastocyst stage and they were eventually transferred on the 17th Feb. Although its only been 11 days since embryo transfer, it has been 16 days since the embryos were created, so hopefully they are growing nicely in their new home!! We'll post again tomorrow but would appreciate any positive energy or thoughts that come our way!! Fingers crossed x

Blast off!! Blastocyst Embryo's

To keep ourselves occupied, we have downloaded pictures of our Embryos, the first one is of 3 that were transferred to our surrogate on the 17th Feb and the other picture is of 3 Blastocyst embryo's that were frozen, and two that were too small and underdeveloped at that stage. We have a weekend of waiting to come, which wont be fun at all but Monday is soon here! If you don't know what a blastocyst is, I'll try and explain in a roundabout way......Are you seated comfortably??? :)

During normal conception the embryo doesn't normally reach the uterus until day four or five after fertilisation, and by delaying transfer, the blastocyst can be placed into the uterus at the same stage that it would arrive naturally. Usually only 30-50 percent of embryos grow to blastocyst stage, so by doing this process you are giving the embryos the best chance of development and also stop the chance of implanting embryos that would not have developed naturally. Still with us???

Hope that makes sense and you can work out what the pictures actually are. In the three that were transferred, the thinner layer around the outside eventually turns into the umbilical cord and the small group of cells becomes the baby! (everything crossed!) We'll update on Monday x

5 More Days

Well, we're half way through the dreaded 2WW.....it feels like sometimes it's taking ages and at others going fast, we have 5 more days left and should hopefully hear on Monday. I feel like I can concentrate on nothing else at the minute and it's affecting my work at school. It's hard to concentrate when you want something so badly that you feel your head could explode at times! We can do no more than just wait and hold our breath! We heard off Amp yesterday who said the surrogate is doing well and still injecting to help the embryo's attach and grow.... Don't have much to say but thank you all for your love and support over the last few weeks, it means a lot to us to have your thoughts with us over this horrible wait. We'll update again on Monday so watch this space...keep everything crossed!!!

Wednesday 17th, Transfer Day...

Surrogate had another check-up on Monday, but her womb lining still wasn't ready. So the 11 embryo's we're allowed to culture to the blastocyst stage. Was worried that any other good quality embryo's other than the best three (for implant) might not be able to be frozen, but got told that with a different combination of chemicals, blastocyst embryo's CAN be frozen, although it does cost more.

Another check-up for the SM was scheduled for Wednesday (today). At 10am, 3 good quality blastocyst embryo's were transfered. We met Amp, the surrogacy agent early afternoon and received the following news:

From the original 11 good quality embryo's, by day five, 8 had progressed to blastocyst stage, but only 6 were good quality. So three have been transfered today, and the remaining 3 have been frozen.

Now the dreaded 12 day wait..... fingers EXTREMELY tightly crossed!!!!

A long weekend of waiting........

This weekend was Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day, and everyone has disappeared. Information is very thin on the ground. There is probably not much news to give, but the wait is killing me!!!! I dread to think how awful and tense the 'two week wait' is going to be when the embryo's are finally transfered.

SM was scanned on Sunday, and her womb lining still isn't the desired thickness for embryo transfer. So more injections, and she will return to the hospital on Tuesday for another scan.

Still have 11 good embryos (as of Tuesday afternoon), so the hospital recommend allowing 4 to develop to the blastocyst stage, with a view to implant 3. The other 7 have now been frozen. This means that embryo implant will either take place tomorrow or Wednesday (day 5). Fingers very tightly crossed that the SM's wall lining will have been given every opportunity to develop to the desired thickness!!!

Going to the hospital tomorrow to meet the doctor, see where everything is at, and will probably go to the UK Consulate to enquire what documents I will need to issue any children born a UK passport.

Egg Donor

We selected our egg donor from a list sent from the agency about 2 months prior (we decided around Christmas time). This allowed the hospital and agency time to find a potential Surrogate Mother (SM from here on) and ensure that through medication, they could synchronize their periods.

During our first weekend in Bangkok, whilst donating sperm, the egg donor had 35 eggs extracted (yes, 35!!!!!!!!!!) at the same time. Of these, 23 were good quality according to the lab. After fertilizing these with the sperm on Friday 12th Feb, we was informed by email Saturday morning that we have 11 good quality embryo's developing, amazing news!

The hospital advise that we use three embryo's for implant, and we freeze the remaining 8 for further use if the first attempt is not successful.

According to the hospital, the SM had more injections on Friday to increase her wall thickness (it needs to be around 7mm) She will have another scan on Sunday (Valentine's Day) to see if she is ready. If she is, they will transfer the embryo's on Monday 15th.

We have been given the option to develop the 3 embryo's to the blastocyst stage. This means that the embryo will be more mature and potentially stronger (with 120 cells) than implanting an embryo at a lesser-developed stage (with maybe 8-16 cells). This costs an extra THB10,000, but might only be necessary if the SM's lining is not thick enough, allowing extra time for the wall to increase whilst maintaining the quality of the embryo's without freezing.

We are waiting for the hospital to get back to us tomorrow (Sunday 14th) to see what stage the SM is at, if she will be ready for embryo transfer on Monday, or if we have to wait a day or two more...

First Weekend in Bangkok

Arrived in Bangkok on February 11th, met Amp (a member of the agency staff) at the airport. Got to our hotel in the Silom area downtown about 11pm, and arranged to meet Amp at a local subway station at 8.30am next day, to get to the hospital at 9.30am

Regardless of the need for sleep, and to feel on top form in the morning, the need for a 'pint or two' to clam our apprehension quickly took over, and crawling into bed at 3am certainly didn't help waking up for a 8am alarm! Feeling a little bit rough, and disappointed that I didn't feel on top form, we got to the hospital at 9.30am.

We had to have a HIV and hepatitis tests, so we waited in the hospital cafe, drinking a coffee in 34 degree heat, in February, listening to Mariah Carey's 'All I Want for Christmas' waiting for the results... very surreal!!!

The dreaded sperm donation, led into a windowless room, not dissimilar to young offender's institution with off-putting straight Thai porn didn't really help create the right mood, but got the 'job done' and the container was swiftly passed to the laboratory and received with a surprisingly dignified bow and sense of ceremony, but much appreciated.

Costs...

So far, surrogacy in Thailand cost's the following: (THB = Thai Baht)

Egg Donor Fee: THB90,000

Agency Fee: THB119,000

ICSI Treatment: THB170,000

Surrogate Mother's Pharmaceutical's : THB54,000

(This includes ultrasounds, medicines, hormone injections for the full term of the pregnancy and the preparation of the Egg Donor)

Surrogate Screening and Lab Fees: THB6,800

Initial Compensation for SM: THB15,000

(This is for maternity clothes after 3 months)

Miscellaneous Compensation for SM: THB17,000

This is for any missed employment, transport fees, doctors appointments, child care if needed

Surrogate Fee: THB221,000 (paid in 10 installments)

Multiple Birth: THB37,000 per additional child

Delivery: THB39,000 PLUS US$750 for C Section

Additional freezing of developed embryos:

Storage Container: THB15,000

(plus THB1,400 per embryo frozen)

Total: THB746,000.oo (not including cost of C-Section and freezing embryo's at THB1,400 each)

At todays exchange rate, this is approximately the following:

Great British Pounds: 14,327

Euro: 16,516

US$: 22,483

Why Thailand?

Given that we live in Hong Kong, we was instantly attracted to the fact that Bangkok is just a 2 hour flight away. Although distance is not the 'deal breaker' it certainly helped knowing that we could visit at short notice whenever we liked, and at modest cost.

We compared Thai surrogacy to Indian surrogacy, as these are the most competitive in fees. We could not afford to work with surrogacy in the USA at all!

The costs of surrogacy in Thailand is fairly affordable, (a little cheaper than India) and unlike India, the compensation paid to the surrogate mother (at our particular agency) is paid in 10 equal installments.

In India, we was informed that the TOTAL surrogate compensation was due to be paid on first signs of a viable pregnancy (just the blood test, not the 12 week scan). This is by no means typical of all clinics in India, just the particular one we enquired with. We was advised of other clinics that have better fee plans/schedules, but our enquiries with Bangkok had reached the point of the whole process being very viable for us and almost ready for us to start, so we decided to make a firm commitment to work with Thailand.

Paying monthly installments makes the whole process more affordable from monthly salary, and removes one of the larger lump-sum payments in the initial stages!

The hospital is very modern, with good facilities, extremely nice staff and a general sense on visiting that all patients are treated with care and respect. There is absolutely nothing 'third world' about the hospital whatsoever, and it is certainly a much nicer place to be than most UK hospitals.

Thailand is an amazing country, and Bangkok, after the initial sense of being overwhelming always turns out to be a very relaxed, friendly and open minded city and a pleasure to visit. Thai egg donors and surrogate mothers also tend to be extremely healthy, with good diets, non-smokers, non-drinkers etc. We also discovered that the donors and surrogates tend to be introduced to the agency and hospital via 'friends-of-friends' and word of mouth. There is absolutely no feeling of it being exploitive, at least to us.

Introduction

We are Adam and Michael, and have been in a relationship for nearly 11 years. We are from the UK, and both currently live and work in Hong Kong. We have wanted to raise our own family together for a number of years, and are currently using a surrogate mother in Thailand working with Synphaet (Ram) Hospital in Bangkok.

We have started this blog during the weekend of egg retrieval and fertilisation, but we are going to take you through the process and our experiences from the beginning and update daily from here. We found that there is an abundance of information on (gay) surrogacy in the US and India, and very little about the options available in Thailand. Although there are a huge number of concerns, anxieties, legal issues etc working in a country that is maybe not so established and transparent on the surrogacy map, we hope that our experiences will give insight to anyone else considering working with Thai surrogacy.

Hope you find this blog interesting and useful...

Adam and Michael